what the...?

i've been at this school for almost three weeks, but the principal and i never really spoke to each other before.
just now, out of the blue, he asked me if i had a minute and said to me 'shodaino yakimononi ikimashoka' or (literally) 'Let's go to Shodai pottery?' i said, 'um, okay, shodaino yakimono.'
he drove me to a pottery shop, we stayed for less than five minutes, and he bought me a a random piece of pottery(i swear, he just said, 'pick one cup', so I picked up a cup and he bought it for me) and we came back to school. it was all at light speed. i have no idea what just happened. i just know that i have a piece of pottery in a plastic bag on my lap, an orange on my desk, and i'm feeling very confused again...

ah, those good ole days

got really confused at lunch today. most of the time, i eat in the classroom with students. i was talking to the kids around me, and that thing happened that happens sometimes. they all shut up and wouldn't say anything. i feel really bad when that happens because i don't know what's going on. they just shut up suddenly and it makes lunch kinda strange...
then, the teacher for that class came up to me and told me that all of the seventh graders were going to the gym for something or other and i could join if i wanted to.
huh?
i suddenly understood that i was eating with seventh graders. i thought they were eighth graders. i used 'eighth grade English' the whole time. i must've intimidated them a lot. they couldn't understand what i was saying and they didn't know what to do.
it turned out okay though because afterwards we all went to the gym and played dodgeball.
that must be the dumbest blog you've ever read.
or did it remind you of your good ole days in Japan?
remember, other people can respond to your comments and it could be bery wondafu, as they say here.

Me vs. PlayStation 2

I'm sitting here in the teacher's room at school, flipping through magazines.

I 'taught' at Arao #5 Junior High for two weeks.
The English teacher was so timid he could barely look at me. We had some trouble planning lessons together because when we started to talk he would turn red, start sweating and become really detached. If I showed any sort of assertiveness, it would just sew another stitch onto his lips. So I became very, very quiet for those two weeks and we managed. I didn't ask about lesson plans and he only told me what I was supposed to do just before class. We did the ol' 'two-minutes-before-class briefing session'. Class was usually mostly in Japanese, which was good for my learning, but not for the kids.

That being said, the kids were a lot of fun. First time, and I don't know why, they told me about their lives, told me who they were dating in school(uhh... good?), and brought in music for me to listen to. They talked to me at lunch and gave me pictures of themselves and made me jewelry. Even the boys talked to me--i mean really, what up wit dat?
So it only lasted a short time, but #5 JH has woven another strange and beautiful pattern into the techni-colored quilt that has become 'My Japan Experience'.
I still have plans to go shopping with one of the kids, my friends and her friends.

So, I left #5 two weeks ago and landed in a fresh new desk at Arao #4. Apples and oranges. #4 strikes me as possibly the healthiest functioning school in the district. There are teacher's meetings every morning, and get this, they aren't 'form' meetings. The teachers actually talk to each other in them.

The English teachers are 'into' English. The one who swears he was born in Tennessee is a bigger football fan than I am. I mean, ha ga ga ga, well blows me down! Out of the blue, the other day at lunch I had a conversation with one of the students that actually made some sense! In English! The trick is, these teachers actually have a personal interest in English. Somehow they've managed to give their students confidence. They're doin' real good.

Now they've given me my first project, to create an English/America bulletin board.

I really only meant to write one sentence on this blog. I've been flipping through the magazines my mom sent from home, cutting out pics for the board, and you'd never guess. 'Taiko Drum Master' has been released for the PlayStation 2. If only I'd acted sooner, I'd have had my fortune. I could just bite them.

how to be famous

You might've wondered about why I'm wearing a kimono in some of those pics I sent out. I didn't exactly know why I was wearing it at the time. I found out later. It was because I'm an ambassador.

This was my first time wearing a kimono. I was confused at how it actually felt, somehow, comfortable to wear.
Maybe like me, you didn't know that there are lots of various pieces of clothing that go on before the actual kimono. And ropes. I had five or six cinched around my chest. Usually they put nine on(, but I'm a foreigner, so...). Then, there are some more things, like a cotton shirt, a cotton slip, special socks and about fifteen small cotton pads around the neck and shoulders. Then the actual kimono goes on. Then five or so more belts on top. and teensy-weensy shoes. Way, way too small for my feet. I felt better when the women at the beauty shop told me that they are small for Japanese ladies too.

So, that was it. I didn't really know what to do all decked up like that. So I went outside. Coincidently, or maybe not, my tutor, who provided me with the opportunity to wear the kimono in the first place, happened to know that a festival was happening at a large shrine across the street and up the mountainside. She suggested that we go. Yikes. I felt really kind of weird sporting these fancy Japanese clothes in front of people I didn't know, and also I didn't think I could make it up the mountain in the itty-bitty shoes. Somewhat unsure of myself, I agreed we should go. I couldn't have guessed what a good idea that was.

After only a little walking, I got used to the shoes. I was surprised too, because the kimono wasn't killing me either. It held my posture for me and everything seemed to be stacked up right inside. So what did people think? Heck if they weren't smiling. They seemed proud of me or something. They wanted to shake my hand and talk to me. Just person after person wanting to meet me. It was so weird; then it struck me. This is why I'm here--it's not about ME me-- it's about letting all these people experience something foreign, something outside of the normal, if maybe for only once in their lives. And wearing the kimono somehow gave them confidence to come up to me and touch me, or even just stare(remember, the adults generally avoid looking).

It's true now that I'm famous here, not because of my accomplishments and not because of any particular talent. Just because the time is ripe and I do my job. That other part of the job. Now I can understand the part of my contract that says I'm to be an ambassador for my country. Anyone could do this job. but somehow it's me...


P.S. This is the best I've felt for a long time.

when life gets tough... give up

Finally, I've learned how to deal with elementary Wednesdays. Stop trying. Stop planning at all.

I wish that someone would comment that I keep generalizing about 'the Japanese'. I just wish 'the Japanese' would stop being so much the same.

If you think it's right or wrong that I do that, or even if you don't care but you think you'd like to hear more about my love life or stunning lack thereof, leave a comment. You can even talk about your love life if you feel so moved. Just click on the icon that says 'comments' at the bottom of the post, and you can sign your comment or post anonymously. Or don't, but then you'd just be holding it in, and we all know that that kind of thing is bad for your health... no but really I want to hear from you. even if yo spell things worng or uses bad grammar.

Well, this will be my final blog in which I complain about elementary Wednesdays. I don't care about them anymore. And all the better. Last week I let go of my stress and went in unprepared. I ran the class the same as my never-ending self-introduction classes. No intricate games, no 'look at me, I'm a special weird foreign person!', no bullshit. And at the end of the day, we were all stress-free--me, the students, and the teachers.
They actually prefer if I don't do any work at all; it saves them having to do work to understand my work. 'The Japanese' work very hard, but are mostly pretty lazy when it comes to doing something requiring innovation. It's all got to do with that group harmony and whatnot, I suppose. Anyways, it's good to be done with that bit of nonsense.

from now on my blogs may contain less perfection. i give up trying to attain that. and, instead of including lots of negative stuff, while trying to stay optimistic, i'm giving that up too. i'm neither anymore. life just goes on--wake up, gotta start again. enjoying the enjoyable, forgetting the forgetable, putting things in their place a piece at a time, but not discouraged should it all come tumbling down. like jenga. is it that way for you too?

The Kindness of Tutors

When I told my tutor Etsuko that I had a cold and a stomach ache, she told me she would bring me some medicine from the convenience store. She arrived with:

herb and milk throat lozenges
4 bottles of 'lactic acid' stomach tonic(all different brands)
1 bottle of vitamin C 'physical drink'
4 wrapped packages of ground 'kuzu' root, good for the cold
a package of porridge
a carton of apple juice
a carton of orange juice
a box of ritz crackers
tissues
a can of bean soup
a can of corn chowder
3 buns with different fillings
an apple
2 packs of gum, 1 lime flavored, 1 mint flavored(??to clean my teeth after all this food??)

I didn't know what to say! I was really grateful. I actually think she feels responsible to help me if I need something because she knows that there isn't really anyone else in town who I can ask when I need help. What I mean is that she speaks English well, but she also understands my needs well.
In the past couple months, we've spent a lot of time together. We went to Nagasaki for a day, we go out for okonomiyaki(one of the many hidden treasures of Japanese cuisine; like a huge, dense, cole slaw pancake) nearly every weekend, we watch movies together, study Japanese together, and just hang out sometimes. I haven't been able to tell her yet that I can't renew in Arao for next year. I don't want her to be sad. Needless to say, largely due to her kindness, I'm feeling much better this morning.

In other news:
I got the new location yesterday: somewhere in Kumamoto City.

That's all I know, and so, as of yet I'm still undecided about my final decision to stay or go home. (Remember, I said already said I'd stay, but there's a little leeway in that decision.)

P.S. I read that this site has revamped their comment board. They say that it should be easier for non-members to post comments. I know some people have had trouble posting comments to my blog, so you might try again now if you are included in that group. Anyway, my regular address is still always a good way to send me your comments.

Fruition

Today was the annual Arao Bean-Throwing Festival. No joke. It's called the Bean-Throwing Festival, but actually, it's peanuts that are thrown, not beans.

This morning(Sunday) I woke up knowing I had several things to do before the day could begin. I had to eat breakfast, take a shower, prepare my notes for my speech, and practice violin. None of this came to fruition. My friend, who would also be giving a speech today has a bit of a hard time getting organized. Knowing this was the case, I took care to call her the night before to make sure she was set to come to Arao in the morning. She said she was, so I was surprised when she called out of the blue this morning asking for a ride. It was 40 minutes out of the way and it cut out my entire plan to prepare for the day. So I picked her up, feeling a little cranky. After a few minutes chatting away in my American (square) English and her Jamaican (uh, round?) English, I forgot about the morning's inconvenience and we headed towards the big Buddhist temple of Arao, which rests on a hill somewhere between Midori Gaoka Elementary School and Arao Junior High School #3.
There were already a couple hundred people at the temple when we arrived, also joined by my tutor, Etsuko. In the car, on the way, we waved to two of my English students from #3, one being the shining star from the Taiko concert. Once inside, we watched a little hip-hop dance performance put on by the teens, which seems to be standard procedure to entertain the younger generation at festivals. Then, we went inside the temple itself, and as usual, I became quickly absorbed in the chanting and ritual at the head. There was a fire burning, some monks chanting, a drum being struck, and the air smelled of cedar incense. I understood nothing, and it was over as quickly as that. Everyone stood up and the people in front started throwing little white packages into the shrine area. I was confused because I had heard that we would be catching beans that were thrown at us. With a plunk on my head, the confusion ceased, and chaos took its place. Everyone scrambled to pick up small white packages that were thrown back at us. The ceremony went so quickly and we were ushered out of the temple's shrine room empty-handed. We headed down the stairs and an older lady handed me a plastic bag. The real throwing was about to begin.
Hundreds of Japanese stood eagerly with arms held high and plastic bags held open. The mayor, several very old people, two people dressed in rooster costumes(it's now the year of the rooster), two costumed superheros from 'Ultraman Land', the kiddie amusement park in town, and some priests and monks were escorted onto the roof of the exterior part of the temple. They carried huge white bags, their texture showing thousands of small packages inside.
After the blow of a horn, and some high-pitched shouting by the priest, showers of white packages fell onto us. Everyone dashed in every direction to grab them. The old(--did I say 'old'? I meant 'ancient'--) woman behind me had the fastest package-grabbing hands imaginable. I bet she'd done this about 111 times by now, so she had a good reason to be so much quicker than me. I turned out to be a much poorer package-grabber than most, and by the time the throwing and grabbing mania had ceased(more than 5 minutes!), I looked up to see two more boys, both my old English students, standing in front of me offering me handfuls of packages. When my bag was as full as theirs, they left to rejoin their other friends. My tutor, my Jamaican friend and I surveyed our loot, and sat down on our haunches to begin the second phase of the festival--the tearing open of small packages. And so it was that I discovered the 'beans' were peanuts, wrapped in a piece of tissue paper. A lucky few would find a stamp on the inside of the paper, indicating that they should report to the 'prize tent' and exchange it for the designated prize. I had about 50 packages in all, but no prize. My friend won a fancy instant ramen dinner. : )
On the way to the prize center, I ran into another handful of my students, who greeted me with a smile and said, "It was fun!! See you!".
Leaving the parking lot, a group of six or seven of my students waved goodbye. We headed towards the city mall for lunch, and after that, to give speeches.

A long time back, my tutor, then just an acquaintance, had requested me and my friend to give a speech to the Ariake International Society in town. She said to prepare at least twenty minutes' worth of material, so I spent all of yesterday putting on the final touches. My speech, to my surprise, was forty minutes, and it was video taped. I talked about what I thought were five major cultural differences between Japan and America. (If you are interested, they were: 1. Social Harmony and Individual Thinking, 2. Indirect and Direct Speech, 3. Politeness and Rudeness, 4. Shyness and Assertiveness, and 5. Women's Roles) By request, I finished with some short violin pieces. My friend talked about Jamaica and focused her speech on her culture's history and politics. We were both well-received.
That being behind us, we decided to make the one-block trip back to the city mall for a little Taiko Drumming Arcade Game Bonanza. I was proud to be the first to offer her a taste of this blissful experience. ; ) And there, we ran into student after student of mine, smiling at us, waving with excitement. Two girls from the fourth grade class at #4 Elementary joined us in Taiko. One from #3 Junior High, looking quite trendy in his starter jacket and head-wrap, unselfconsciously waved to us as he walked by with his 'girlfriend'. Four boys stood outside the arcade, watching me as I 'ghost-drummed' behind the fourth grade girls. I turned to see them looking and became shy because they didn't look at all familiar to me. One boy held up four fingers. I relaxed. I stepped outside the door to yell "Raishu! (Next week!)". I'd spoken to their student body of 407 on Friday, my first day at #4 Junior High School. They were telling me they knew me; they were telling me their school's number!

In a rare occurance, satisfaction seaped through my body today. Somehow, I became a witness to my own impact. Nearly a hundred smallish, familiar faces, just a fraction of the students I've 'taught', speaking ENGLISH!
Myself having been defeated weeks ago, I barely know what to do with this success. I suppose a peaceful night's sleep will do me good. Good night all.

Decisions

On late Friday afternoon, I talked to the head of the JET Program coordinations and my advisor. The head had talked to my supervisor that day and they had come to the decision that there was no way I could apply for a transfer out of the prefecture. The deadline to apply was a month ago. So, it would be Kumamoto or nothing. Not only that, but they needed my decision to stay in Japan or go home in July on Monday(yesterday), instead of in two weeks(on the 16th) which is the time alloted to everyone else.
My advisor advised me to say I'd stay, even if I would change my mind later because there was an option to back out for about a month or so. Yesterday, I told them that I'll stay. They said, 'Okay, where: city, suburbs, or country?' I hadn't thought about that at all, so I said I wasn't sure. They need my decision by today.
After our meeting, I handed my supervisor a formal letter requesting a reevaluation of my elementary school schedule. I requested no more than four classes to teach in one day. I had to write it in English because I didn't want to involve anyone outside of the department. I hope the woman who speaks some English there can understand. I can no longer deal with elementary school Wednesdays.