From Thursday to Death

Okay, so maybe it's time to pay more attention to blogging. I don't have any poetic ideas tonight, so I'll just write what comes up this time.

It's Thursday night, I'm sitting on my bed, and I'm wearing red pajamas. There are four blankets on my bed, although it's not that cold tonight. I cleaned the air filters on the heater just in case it starts to get cool.

I heard that it's been snowing and really cold in Colorado recently. Our weather has been the complete opposite. I was sweating during class today, and I got a sunburn the other day while hiking. My nose is peeling.

About my skin: last winter, when I was in Tokyo, I got a makeover in one of the biggest department stores in the world. I don't like getting made over -- I always think I look like a clown afterwards, and this was no exception. But there was one difference this time. Looking in the mirror, I noticed wrinkles around my eyes for the first time ever. It was strange to see that.

I only started using skin care products two years ago, when Hiro introduced them to me. If I use those products, my skin seems to look and feel nice and soft, and if I don't, well, it's now got these itty-bitty wrinkles.

Someone noticed the wrinkles this summer -- only one person has ever commented -- but I didn't feel bad about that. I ams what I ams, and these wrinkles are just curious things.

I also noticed some gray hairs on my head which seemed to have multiplied during last year. I got my hair lightened once this summer, but before that, there were maybe 15 or 20 gray hairs. Whether it came from the stress I experienced in my first year as an English teacher here, or whether it was just a natural occurance, who knows. They don't bother me much either.

Although I'm young on the scale of things, I suppose I am getting older, not just getting older, but aging in the slightest of ways already. The Oprah magazine was on aging this month. I suppose that got me thinking about aging a bit. I see my parents growing, aging, and changing, and I learn about life by talking with them about these things sometimes. It wasn't as obvious to me before I went away. I wonder if they can see me grow, change, and begin my aging too...

As autumn makes its way into winter, I reflect upon the inevitable(succinctly stated by The Flaming Lips: Do you realize/that everyone you know/someday/will die?). The more curious I become about death, the more curious I become about living. Even the low parts of living are somehow still worth being alive.

Is that true?

I'll be back soon, see you...