Days 13 + 14 -- Heroes and Lovers (and kids)

I was 7 minutes early yesterday and today. It wasn't easy, but it's getting easier still.

I appreciate the comments from Day 12. I thought a lot about them yesterday. I wonder if I could ever be someone's hero, inspire someone the way my heroes inspire me. I thought about what my heroes have in common with each other. It surprised me to notice that there are no violinists specifically among my heroes. I found it strange because I play the violin.

I also thought about if my life will be complete if I get married and have kids. More and more, I think I just want to be plain old happy, and live an uncomplicated life, whatever that is. But I also want to live life with a deep meaning and especially with a connection to my/the universe's nature. You know what I mean. I don't want to sleep through life and wait for it to be over.

I wish I could say that I've decided I'm getting married and going to have kids or not going to get married and have kids, but something there in that realm has yet to become complete for me.

Namely, I can't decide whether to stay here in Japan for another year or come home. If I stay, I probably won't get married for a while. If I come home, I expect that I will probably get married and more than likely have children much sooner. And if neither of those things will come about, I suppose I will either become a nun or a rich old lady. Score!

But I don't know what to do just now. I need some new goals because the old ones are starting to get, you guessed it -- old -- and not motivate me anymore. I have to decide what I want for the coming time. I already know no one will do that for me. It's nice to have a say for yourself!

That being said, I do have confidence that I will be at least 10 minutes early tomorrow to work. wink wink

Total minutes early: 119