Keep Going

I typed about half an hour yesterday about the Mt. Fuji trip before my computer crashed and I lost everything even though it was saved. I'm not really interested in this mac anymore, but it's the only computer on which I can write this blog. Since computers aren't my speciality and I don't want to send it away to get it fixed, I'll just keep on plodding and posting when the winds are favorable.

I got elected as the MVP of my Aikido school this year. I received a beautiful certificate and was asked to give a speech last Sunday at the New Year's party. I wrote the speech by myself, and then Etsuko helped me put the thing into formal Japanese. It was so fun, and I was so excited on the way over to the party. It was a pretty fancy affair, and for me, it was the first time I've been formally acknowledged for anything besides my work contract at school. I gave my speech, and we all ate and drank to our heart's delight. Afterwards, 10 of us headed towards a nearby karaoke bar.

Karaoke, although I adore it, is not my particular speciality. I want to sing and sound like everyone else; somehow, they all seem to have perfect pitch and lovely vibratos. And 8 of these 10 of us were men. When my voice comes out, for example, as I sing Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven" or Dido's "Thank You," I want to sound, well, like Eric Clapton or Dido, just like the others sound like the original singers of their songs--even their English pronunciation in right on, though not a one of them speaks English. But alas, I just sound pretty regular and like I'm trying a little too hard. Karaoke is a Japanese cultural tradition, since 1963. Before that time, no one here could sing. But now people are forced to do it from the time they put on their first business suit, so they have no choice but to become really spectacular at it. As for me, I think all those guys were looking at me, wanting Dido's voice to come out of my untrained lungs so they could praise me and clap along. But when it was my own, uh..., smurfy voice that surfaced, it was all they could do to... praise me and clap along, really well-intentioned-like. Gosh, this is a nice place.

I know you're wondering about my speech. I would be too, except that I wrote it. I spoke about how quickly the time has passed and how I was honored that I could earn this award having joined the group less than a year ago. I spoke about (and I kid not) the undiluted joy I felt when we all met for the first time off the mat at the 'hanami' cherry-blossom viewing party in March.

I recalled the trip with Katsuki, Kato and Sensei to Yakushima Island last May. I congratulated Sensei and some others on their decision to come to Aikido Camp in the US this July. I welcomed the new students and wished them good luck. I thanked Furu-san for his endless help and patience. I thanked Sensei for his devotion to us, and his dedication to maintaining the heart of O'Sensei's Aikido. Lastly, I told everyone that I was so happy to accept the title of MVP for 2007. Through training, particularly falling down and getting up over and over again, I am taught how to overcome obstacles and find a spirit which perserveres. I told them to throw me a lot, as much they like after this(everyone laughed). Then I thanked the group for allowing me to speak.

Sigh... a real moment in my life.

Afterwards, my friend Shaggy was having his 24th birthday party in the city, so I joined up. I'm starting to fall in love with this particular group of friends. I told you about some of them already, but mix in a couple of us from the West with this group from the East, and there's a certain green with silver sparkles firework that goes off. We're talking fun, fun, fun, until my Daddy took the Daihatsu away. (Thanks to my brother for sending me off last summer with CDs of the Beach Boys. I'm still trying to decide what I think of one of the other ones, 'Bad Plus,' btw. Any opinions, let me know.)

Today, I taught Joe English. His name is 城, so we call him Joe. He's an awesomely enthusiastic student. And this week, he brought me organic Camomile tea, which we drank during the lesson. Last week, he brought me a bottle of sake, which we... uh... And he brought beer the week before. Um, okay, you're starting to understand why Joe is an interesting student. I've known him for almost three years, longer than I've known most of the foreign language teachers around here. He's a crazy and charasmatic 23ish-year old with two girlfriends(uh, what?) and a knack for JENGA. I'll tell him how to say a word in English, like say, "relative," and he'll do a cartwheel and refill my sake cup. He puts the 'Joe' in 'mojoe,' I'm sure(but to be safe, I'll say that I wouldn't personally know).

And I went hiking last Saturday with Ike. We went to collect huge logs of firewood from this shrine deep in the forest so his friend could make Buddhist statues out of them. It was a 'kapa' shrine; this half-turtle, half-friar, demi-god's shrine. His friend made incantations and we poured two huge bottles of sake into the mouth of the resident dragon-guardian statue. I think this statue only gets visitors on special wood-taking ceremony days like that day. We had to pulley some of the larger logs up the hills back to the car because none of other big, burly Ike-like men could lift them. Ike actually isn't burly, but whatever. It was so amusing being a part of the whole thing, and afterwards we relaxed at some natural hot springs.

And I started Japanese calligraphy lessons last week!! Yay, it's going to be great!!!


I dunno. I'm always doing stuff and getting into stuff, but I hadn't been writing about it. I needed a break for a while, I suppose. Things change so fast. I needed to catch up to all the changes, maybe.

If you throw yourself a rope, who is pulling whom?

I had really wanted to go to practice tonight in the city, but I feel terrible. To clarify, there's nothing wrong with me physically. I had wanted to go, I'd had enough time to get there, but I just couldn't bring myself to get in the car and go somehow. The same thing happened last Friday, which makes me feel worse. Friday's Aikido class is really the only day we have enough time to break things down and work on forms and other things slowly, as well as goof around and have fun with each other after class. I feel so sad that I am sitting here now and not over there. What a sucky sort of thing to say, that I'd rather be somewhere other than where I am. Can we ever find happiness by saying such things?

And what am I doing instead of being there? Nothing. I've just been sitting on my bed, staring at nothing. I decided to go to sleep at 7pm. If I had left then, I could've done class. But I went to sleep and woke up groggy and tired. It reeks of depression. I find this embarrasing to write about, especially because I feel I could have prevented it. I've been feeling occasionally understimulated and sad since my friend left a week and a half ago and my family left about 3 weeks ago. (The two packages of crackers and juice for dinner certainly didn't help my mood either, but...) Somehow, I didn't move fast or skilfully enough tonight, and I let my feelings of apathy overtake the power of action. If I had caught on to what was happening sooner I'd have forced myself out of the house and I would've probably been fine.

So, the only thing I could think to do that I thought would help was to write all this down here. And somehow, it does seem to be making me feel better. I think I'll do something to take care of myself now, go for a walk or go get some different food. I suppose I just needed a little perspective. Situations such as these, where I need a rope, are becoming rarer. Maybe if I save up all those ropes I'll have one to throw in case someone else needs one. Maybe Regis will call me.


By the way, I have a few days left to finish up '30 days early,' and I want to be sure to do that properly.
I'll begin again on Monday, and finish up June with minutes to spare!!

Money For Nothing

Interesting development: I went to check out another Aikido teacher. Seeing as I'm so contented under the guidance of Sakabe Sensei, you might wonder why I would wander off to have a lesson under a different teacher.

Well, even within Aikido, just like so much else, there are politics. Since the founder Ueshiba O'Sensei died some 38 years ago, what we know as 'Aikido' today is mainly the Aikido that was spread and developed 'for the masses' by O'Sensei's son. As well, there were other teachers, such as Sunadomari Sensei, who created his own schools of practice, even before Ueshiba O'Sensei's son had made these developments. Sunadomari Sensei is known as a 'prewar' student, one who studied with the founder primarily before World War II. When I saw Sakabe Sensei's class for the first time, it looked different from the Aikido I had seen before, and this explains why.

The politics extend further--Sunadomari Sensei is Sakabe Sensei's teacher, and Sunadomari Sensei is the head of the Honbu(headquarters) dojo in Kumamoto City. It's the largest dojo under this school, the Aiki Manseido Aikido schools. Some time ago, however, Sunadomari Sensei decided to call his style 'Manseido,' or some variation of that which did not include the term Aikido. He told his students that this new art was not to be called 'Aikido' anymore, and that if they wanted to call what they were doing 'Aikido' they would have to go off and form their own group.

So that's what Sakabe Sensei did, ten years ago. He broke off, formed his own group called Aishinkan Aikido, and gathered a following. Then, after a few years had passed, for reasons unknown, Sunadomari Sensei changed the name again to 'Aiki Manseido Aikido,' and began to call the art 'Aikido' again. Sakabe Sensei, I gather, didn't know what to do, so he remained separate, and continued the Aishinkan schools he had started. And here we are today.

But after the demonstration last month in Kumamoto City put on by the Manseido schools, I got a phone call from a man named Honda, a 7th dan teacher at the Honbu dojo telling me that he was starting a class in Tamana. He asked me if I wanted to join, not knowing that I was already training at Aishinkan, so it was a hard call for me. I had to consult my 'inner resources' to reach the conclusion to go and try it out.

When I did go, two weeks ago, I had a fine time; nothing particularly mind-blowing or different from Furu-san's Tuesday night beginner's class. Therefore, I figured my best bet would be to ask Sakabe Sensei if it would be all right to go to Honbu dojo itself so I could learn more about Manseido and, therefore, also Aishinkan. Luckily, and with the help of my good friend translating, I did get that permission.

Here's the money: I got a call from Honda Sensei again tonight. Because his class is full of beginners and there is no one advanced enough to take falls or execute throws, he asked me if I would come back to help him. He wants me to be his uke, his assistant in the demonstrations, and in exchange, he's offered me membership into the Aiki Manseido Aikido schools for free. That's serious money for nothing. Having received the OK from Sakabe Sensei to do as I please, I said yes to Honda Sensei, and begin my 'uke-ship' on Wednesday. It's feels like a break for me--I'm kind of excited already. I'm sure I'll learn a lot too.

BTW, I know I really like talking about the Aikido stuff, but there are a couple of other things I want to share. I wanted Linda to know that I'm thinking of her and sending my love, and thanks to Susan for giving me a square kick in the behind, love to Dad on this day after Father's Day, and thanks again to my friend J who helped me so much when he was here. I'm really glad you could make it finally again, even under the circumstances. (And blu, please start blogging again!)

Very, very sorrying now but, good night. :-)

Day 26 -- Rapid Changes

Yesterday, I made a transliteration of the AikiManseido("Aikido for the Whole World") creed, so I can begin to recite it in class. It's something that was composed by the Sunadomari Sensei, the head of AikiManseido and a student of Ueshiba O'Sensei(Aikido's founder). He was Sakabe Sensei's teacher, too, for a long time until Sakabe Sensei started his own dojos. You can see the original Japanese brushed here. I'm not going to try to translate it here because I couldn't do it justice in English. But I will translate the first sentence, and that is " 'Aiki' means 'the manifestation of love.' "

I go to the 53rd anniversary demonstration of Manseido this Sunday, where I hope to see Sunadomari Sensei for the first time. I'm waiting in anticipation of this event. He's something like 81 or 82 years old. I wonder what kind of demonstration it will be...

It is dawning on me how powerful this martial art's potential is to change a person.


Total minutes early: 210

Day 25 -- Sensei and the Island

As I said earlier, I got the chance to go to Yakushima Island last week for three days with Sakabe Sensei and two other people. Yakushima Island is south of here, way down near Okinawa.

The whole island is covered with green, and although it was clear the whole time we were there, it was really apparent how much it must rain to become sheeted over with moss and so full of life. What astonished me the most about the place was the island's seeming ability to regenerate itself, even though a lot of logging had taken up til the mid-1960s. It had that kind of magic about it, pine trees which had grown on old stumps, banyan trees reaching down and forming new roots with their branches, and huge, ancient cedars carrying dozens of forms of different plant life in their branches.


There were plenty of small deer who pretty much ignored us, monkeys, who stared at us, and the colorful fish we could see from the glass-bottom boat. I ate a flying fish(cost about $8). That makes me really feel special somehow (. . *)V . I also ate something called 'kame no te,' or turtle's hand. It's actually a kind of shellfish that really looks like a turtle's paw. It tasted like clam.



There were three really spectacular waterfalls. One was 88 meters high, one was just beautiful, and the last one, pictured here fell directly into the ocean. I hear that's pretty rare for a waterfall.

I did get to go hiking in the Princess Mononoke inspired forest, and although it was quite an enchanted forest, the hike was easier than I'd imagined, so it didn't have much of a feeling of being hidden away.
Even still, I could have spent a lot more time in that forest. For a few moments, Sakabe Sensei and I sat looking at the trees in silence, and he and I were both reluctant to get up when it was time to go. We shared a few moments like this. All in all, I have to say that my experience with Sensei for those three days was different than I would have imagined.
Sensei on the mat astounds me. I become alive watching him; alert beyond thought. I have even felt once or twice that he could have been my father in a different time, because of the way that he kindly takes care of me, but is also strict. This is on the mat.

Off the mat, he's friendly enough, but I was surprised by some quirks that started to come out after a few days of close contact. Well, to start, he wore the same clothes the whole time, a dingy sort of suit, but he kept asking me to take his picture, so I got a lot of pictures of him. His camera was apparently 'maybe working,' same with his video camera. I didn't get that exactly. He took pictures with his camera even though the screen didn't turn on.

What else? He made us pay as a group several times, and when it came to sort out money, we each had accumulated receipts. The totals had to be added, divided, and it was messy. At the end, Sensei brought up that he had lost some of the receipts from his group purchases, so we had to give him an amount based on his estimation. I like to keep watch over my finances these days, so I was a little erked by the mystery of the lost receipts.

Otherwise, the language barrier difficulties were to be expected. It was Sensei, two fellows in their young 30s and me. Sensei nor the other two spoke English, except for the random katakanized word from Katsuki-san when he could think of it. I did my best, but it was a bit rough by the end, when my brain had burst onto the floor from Japanese overload.

It was a good experience, and I had a nice chance to reflect and could get to know Sensei much, much better. We had practice Monday night, and I was right. The nicey-nicey stage seems to be over. I broke a real sweat and joined the gang. And I felt lucky to have such a teacher and that we all have each other.

I wish I could devote more time to making this writing better, but I don't seem to be able to find the time. It's 1:30am now. I was late today, I'm really sorry to report, because I overslept after last night's hard training. I'll be up again and early tomorrow though.

No minutes to add this time. Total: 202

Day 21 -- Thrills

Jeez, Sirdar, you should have told me to take pics before I went! Actually, it rained all day, pouring for the most part, so fog covered whatever views might have been seen from the car and the dojo. It was a nice place, inside a community center building, with wood paneling and a spacious mat area, fairly new. I could see some mountains towering over the building through the mist, and I imagine it would be a sight to see on a clear day. I'll take a bunch of pictures next time.


The oldest dojo I've been to, believe it or not, is smack dab in the middle of Kumamoto City. I'll definitely go and take some pictures of that place when I get the chance. It looks like a run-down haunted house sitting alongside of a shrine, with tall buildings surrounding on all sides. Furu-san took me there the day of the hanami cherry blossom party in the city. That reminds me: I do have a picture from the hanami I'd like to share. This is O-san doing "Thriller" under the cherry trees. (Well, it was some Japanese form of "Thriller," but it didn't actually have the same words or the same tune. But in my mind, it was "Thriller.") We actually did go and sing real karaoke with a real banana for a mic after this pic was taken.

Today I was 10 minutes early. I'm still working on the waking up part.

Matthew--genki desu yo. I feel pretty lucky to have been able to come over and learn all the things I'm learning. I think I got lucky in one particular regard by originally being placed way out here in the boonies. I live in a kind of suburb, which is even more forgotten than the countryside, I think. I have a lot of chances to experience the Japanese lifestyle I don't think I could have if I was say, close to Tokyo or Osaka. It can feel isolating at times, but I'm grateful to have the chance to be here. Thanks for the thoughts and for reading.

Total minutes early: 175

Day 20

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to a place called Aso, which is really pretty deep in the countryside. There's a volcano that is famous there. I went there on my first week in Japan(back in '04!) and bought a piece of bright yellow sulphur at the tourist stand overlooking the lava pool, which by the way, was green.

There are some other countryside-type events that Aso is famous for, the most exciting of which is the annual fire festival. It's a traditional burning of the fields, but they've turned it into a pyrotechnic's heaven. People take turns lighting barrels of hay on fire, swinging them around, and I think, throwing them. There are all sorts of flamed-filled events, the last of which is to light a giant "火"(fire) on the side of one mountain. I heard from a friend the mountain is huge and the symbol looks about a quarter-mile long! I've never been, but if I can, I'd like to go next March. (Click here to read more on this festival and other cool events that happen around here.)

Anyway, I'll be going tomorrow to Aso with Sakabe Sensei a few other members of the dojo. I'm looking forward to training in the quiet peace of nature, and afterwards hanging out with Sakabe Sensei and the others, maybe watching videos of O'Sensei at his house in the city.

I was early on Friday morning. That part is getting much easier. So, before I finish the 30 days, I want to focus mostly on the getting up part because the being early part has gotten much easier. I'm grateful for the comments and support I've been getting. It helps.

Total minutes early: 165

Day 17 -- Got Up But Still Klutzing Around

Last night, after I blogged, I crashed. Recently, I've been sleepy and tired and haven't had much time that is not occupied by teaching, cooking, studying or doing Aikido. I don't have time to feel lonely or sad, or even happy. I don't know what to make of it. But I do remember what it feels like to be in training again.

It feels like the teacher is taking a spoon, and scooping out the inside of me, taking out all the junk and leaving a shell of myself. Into that, the teacher shovels in overwhelming amounts of information. It's wonderful and exhausting at the same time.

Right now, I'm just trying to catch on to the basic drills in class. There are 10 or 15 basic drills/kata, I estimate, mixed into class time. They use different footwork patterns and movements from various attacks. Some are from seated, some from standing, some from hanmi-handachi(one person sits, the other stands). At this point, I'm mostly concerned with which foot is forward and which is back, and whether I should be turning my hand up or down, for example, yet I know that there is a much more sensitive and subtle exchange going on in these drills. It's hard to know that deeper level is occuring while I am klutzing around.

Class is a lot of this "no thinking time" stuff. Everything is so fast, faster than I've ever done training before. Of course, I'm still learning, so people slow down for me, and the teacher often comes over and we go through the footwork together or some such thing, but I know that if I don't start picking these things up, I won't get this special treatment much longer. So, I'm wondering how to retain, and what I can do on my own, and how I can improve more quickly. This is all kind of exciting for me.

Anyway, I was so tired that I waited til this morning to take my (nightly) shower. So, I was but 5 minutes early. Today, however, I got up right when the alarm went off. I didn't try, like we talked about. Somehow, I just woke up, and got up. It was a very natural feeling. I want to do that tomorrow, too.

Until then, sayonara!

Total minutes early: 142

Day 16 -- No Time to Think

11 minutes early. And up 15 minutes earlier than last week. I found a bunch of cute tunes on my alarm/keitai(cell phone). So I'm waking up to happy melodies like Rhapsody in Blue, I've Got Rhythm, Clair de Lune, etc. It's niiiice :-)

I'll try putting my alarm further away from the bed, although I don't want to. It's a case of wanting to wake up happy as opposed to alarmed or annoyed. But I will try, because it is reasonable suggestion and it might turn out to be a good thing. We'll see.


Tonight's Aikido practice was "dame datta." "Dame datta" is a great Japanese phrase that means "abominably bad ." It is usually used to refer to one's own hideous abilities, as in "How did you do on your Japanese test?" "Dame datta," or in this case, "I failed utterly." Sometimes it is used to tell small children that have been really naughty. They usually cry because no one likes to be told "dame datta." It also means "It was no good," "It was useless," "My feet were crossed half the time in Aikido class," and so on. A very useful Japanese phrase.

I found that although my body was fine, my brain had burnt out earlier in the day, after 4 classes and two meetings. Furu-san happily chatted away during the hour-long car ride to the Musashi Traditional Arts Center while I sat unable to understand a good part of the conversation but too out-of-it to take the time to clarify what we were talking about. I know there was an urn, that time he got a black eye, and a part-time job involved, but I'm not sure of the correlation.

Class, as usual, was a high-speed blur of Sakabe Sensei executing one righteous technique after another, followed by my poor attempts to imitate all-around. He works with a variety of people when demonstrating-- black belts, white belts, two people, sometimes even four people, and we use wooden knives, swords and staffs every class. I think my favorite part of class right now is when we do what he calls "ukemi renshuu" or falling practice.

He'll call up each person individually and have them attack him again and again and again. Then he'll call up someone different [and sometimes ask them to bring a weapon--for me tonight it was jo(staff)] And he'll keep throwing on and on, until he's thrown everyone and they're beat. But he doesn't get out of breath. He's very wonderful at moving with little effort, and at keeping his breathing under control.

Before I know it, class has flashed by like lightning, and we even dash across the mats with our janitor's brooms, maybe 6 or 7 of us at once, to clean afterwards. It would make me laugh, but I don't have any time to think at all.

When class is over, undoubtedly I'm the last one to put away my gear and change. Beats me how everyone is so efficient but so relaxed. I have a lot to learn. Too bad nothing stuck tonight. There's always tomorrow, I suppose. And that reminds me that training to be very efficient with time is going to help me even more in the mornings...

total minutes early: 137

Day 11 -- 6 minutes past the punch

I'm so enthralled with this new Aikido I've been learning. Class whips by and all the meanwhile I find myself absorbed for its entirety.

Tonight I was a little late for class, but it wasn't actually because of me. I've been driving to class with the guy who teaches me on Tuesdays, and he works right up to the minute we have to leave for class. He tells me it's only Mondays, and I ask him if it's only school teachers who work every day of the week in Japan. He assures me that he is not a workaholic, and we get on our way.

This guy himself is pretty cool. He doesn't even know he's cool, which is so fun. Apart from having studied this style of Aikido for 7 years, he does karate twice a week. He's been doing that for four years.

I didn't have my Japanese language class at the YMCA last Saturday, so I went to train with him at the Tamana budokan (martial arts hall). Unfortunately, he'd gotten hit by a punch to the solar plexus in Friday night's karate class, and he couldn't move his neck! Needless to say, it was a light training session, and low and behold by today, Monday, with the help of a chiropractor, he has 'fully' recovered. That reminds me of a post I once wrote about the astonishing medical care I've been witness to here.

All this and I was only 4 minutes early this morning to work. How that's related, I don't know. My dad implies I should be able to make this 'missed time' up, if the same holds true for time as it does for sleep. But I can't make these minutes up. These are my life. I can't get time back. Every time I don't reach my goal, I have to try again to do what I set out to do, no excuses!!!

Let's add: 91 + 4 = 95 minutes early.

And 19 days left to arrive!!

Day 8 -- In time for tea

10 minutes early but still a little rushed. It's part of the old habit. The rushing comes right at the end, and seems to be a way of compensating for not getting up right away and therefore having to hurry at the end of the routine. I'm going to keep going and get one inch closer tomorrow.

It's spring break at school now, and the cherry blossoms are streaming down like rain. I have all free time all day in school. Most of the teachers take their vacation days during this time, so it's quiet in the staff room, but I like it. I already made the plans for classes, so I get to do whatever I like as long as I stay on school grounds.

So, what did I do today? I spent the morning studying and writing kanji. I took a walk to get my lunch and I spent the entire afternoon, from 1:30 to 5pm, playing the violin. After I came home after work, I went almost straight to Aikido. That's all I did today. I am at once full and empty. There's more I could say about that topic, but that's for another post.

Total minutes early: 75

Day 7 -- Routine

Well, I only have three minutes to add to the total today.

It was hard to get up, probably because I arrived home from training late last night. The drive is just about one hour, and class ends at 10pm. I was very tired when I came home, but I took my shower and set out my clothes. It just took some extra effort to lift my body out of bed come morningtime.

I trained tonight too, in town. I'm learning so much. It's humbling and I feel really lucky. I also fell asleep in the bathtub, accidently. But I think I can be 10 minutes early tomorrow, regardless of how I feel tonight.

In the meantime, I've put together a night time routine as suggested by a couple of people. It's just as straightforward as the morning routine, but I have to start earlier than I'm used to in order to get everthing done. All this routine leaves no time for any goofing off. Really, there's no time to think if I'm to get it all done.

During the daytime, at least recently, I'm finding the same thing. The things I do involve intention, from arriving at school to say good morning to journaling to preparing to studying to practicing, etc. There is less and less unutilized space. For some reason, this feels like a wonderful way to live life; within certain boundaries, but also with a sense of freedom and ease. The boundaries are self-created, so they are just pretend. It takes self-discpline, therefore, to follow them, because no one else knows them, right?

Total minutes early: 65

Day 6 -- Dreams come true and Angels are real

I was 10 minutes early to work today. It was not so difficult today because I did as Sirdar suggested and laid my clothes out the night before. I also changed around the order of a couple of things in the routine to make smoother.

A lot has been happening in other parts of my life, by the way. Besides going to three parties during the weekend, I had been asked to take a second-degree black belt test at the Shoheijuku Aikikai dojo here in Kumamoto and the tests were on Sunday. I had originally set my mind towards taking the test, but as the time approached I didn't yet have the confidence I would need.

I decided that I could only take a test if I could prepare well enough, so I asked the teachers and some of the other students if they would meet with me on different days to help me prepare. The only person that agreed to do it was of course, Awesome Guy, but with just that little extra training, it wasn't enough for me to become ready. I learn a lot at the dojo, but training is slow and my body is out of shape.

Looking for other ways to train, I found a poster in the local budokan(martial arts hall) for an Aikido class that had just started in my town. Turned out the Aikido on the poster is from another branch of called Aishikan, under a larger school named Manseido. Even though the school(style) was different, I went anyway for the extra training opportunity -- so it would seem. Today I handed in my membership form and I became an official member of Aishinkan.

I have no doubt that this dojo is where I want to be. The teacher is unbelievable skilled. Each class he runs class like clockwork, and the students are all amazingly skilled also. Class moves so quickly I can hardly keep up. The ukemi(falls) are clean, mostly back rolls, but the students seem to be very flexible to many ways of falling.

I just wish I could tell you everything I've seen. My dream of meeting this sort of experience is coming true. I couldn't care less about second-degree at this point. I talked a bit with the Shoheijuku Kumamoto teacher and let him know I wasn't going to take the test. He totally didn't understand, but maybe that's because he doesn't know me very well at all. I don't care about rank. I care about learning.

So my schedule changed to training Mondays and Tuesdays with these folks, Wednesday and Saturday with the old dojo. I can add and subtract days as I like after I figure out what is best to do. I've spent many, many hours with the Shoheijuku people, and have certainly made some close friends there, so I will continue practicing there until I make up my mind what is the best way to move forward.

You know, I also want to tell you about what's been going on with my relationship with my boyfriend. The things we have come to realize together give me joy and great sorrow. If we could imagine that angels were real, I'm sure one would resemble my boyfriend. Maybe you can understand what I mean somehow. I don't mean he's cute and so nice, I mean that he is kind, decent, mature and wise, with patience and a wide-opened mind.

We were watching the cherry blossoms fall from the trees yesterday in Jagatani Park. The moments of life are fleeting like the fall of the blossoms. Maybe you can understand.

Anyway, I'm ready to wake up tomorrow and create some joy. Are you with me?

Well, I didn't get any minutes from anyone since the weekend, so we don't have to think about that just now. As for me, I'm up to 62 minutes early!