Encounter at Rockport

October Dreams

Fall is here, but barely in Kumamoto. It has felt like mid-summer the whole week, almost blazingly hot, until yesterday. Yesterday, it started to feel cooler and a bit chilly at night. I'm glad October is here. Besides the beautiful change of leaves, October brings with it, for me, many happy memories of the past, and of my culture.

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, as many people know. Once a year for four years now, I've enjoyed pulling out my copy of October Dreams and reading a few stories from the spooky anthology . It has some of my favorite authors from when I was younger telling stories and recounting their Halloweens past. It brings me back...

Halloween is not traditionally celebrated by Japanese here in Japan, but there are still lots of "trick-or-treat" displays, and little green and orange pumpkins can be found in shopping malls, as well as plenty of darling Halloween crafts and treats to buy, which can be hard to resist... ahem. Large pumpkins are more rare to come by, and expensive too.

As for me, my blood tingles with anticipation of Halloween every year, regardless of costumes or pumpkins. The season, the history of the holiday, the colors, the fun, and of course, the treats(!), make me feel glad we have a holiday such as this one. Happy Halloween to all!!

I plan to dress up and go to a costume party, like I did last year. Last year, I was Crouching Tiger and my friend was Hidden Dragon. I'm not into the new sexy-style costumes(thanks, Linda) that have be getting popular over in the US recently. I think they take away the fun in a lot of ways, so I'm going to stick to traditional and maybe be an only semi-cute, but formidable Batwoman. (Batgirl, now back and more grown up than ever.) I'm not sure yet. I usually wait til a couple days before to decide.

I had my third Jodo class today, and so far I'm just loving it so much. It's not all that exciting, just repeating strikes and short forms over and over again, but there are so many precise details to follow, and I feel like I'm eating it up so far, albeit my brain is all mixed up and full with stuff I was taught. Aikido class afterwards was, as usual, good. I finally started keeping notes on my practice -- a technical notebook, for stuff I want to remember. No reflections or anything; I only do that here. ;-)

Also, I took a practice Japanese test today for the one in December. I took two parts out of the three parts of the test, and when we added my score, I was only one point from passing, without any points from the third part! I was psyched, because that means I'll definitely pass. Now, I'm going to challenge myself, and see if I can't raise my own score a lot higher than I did today. By no means have I mastered the material yet, but I'm working hard to at least work off of a strong foundation.

School has been just fine recently. I've been coaching students for a few different speech contests for a couple of months, and I was surprised and pleased that two of the students I had coached came in first and second at their competitions. We've been working hard almost every day so that they can give it their best for the national competition in Tokyo in January.

Regular teaching is still difficult, but I'm starting to see that if I went through the textbook(it's the one I chose, remember, so I can't complain; I love the book, actually! Here's the lesson we're on now...) for another year, it might start being easier and maybe the Japanese teachers I teach alongside with and I could enjoy our classes more. I've been doing a lot of work in school getting lesson plans made and in order for the end of second term. I wish I could express how much I want to be a part of classes that motivate and inspire the students, but as long as my grasp of Japanese is so minimal, I have to side-step actually teaching sometimes, because, due to my inexperience with Japanese, I can't explain anything much complicated to them. Some of them have started to get more interested, though, and makes me think there's hope for us. Maybe by the end of this school year(March) I'll have my act fully together. That's my goal, anyway.

Lastly, I want to say that I've been going through a lot of changes in my personal life recently. I think my cousin getting married had something to do with it, but that was just a small(but significant!) part of the big 'puzzle.' Things are getting clearer, and I'm embracing the changes okay, I believe.

I can't believe I wrote so much!! It's been a long time.

Best to you all out there.

Japanese and Jodo

I'm still here. It's been a quiet couple of weeks here at home. Lots of alone time.

Not to say that exciting things haven't been going on. There was the Kumamoto 'Songs of Fire Country' concert I took part in with the orchestra, part of a prefecture-wide celebration last Saturday(I took a video of the celebrations in the street, we'll see if I can't get that up here). That was fun. The music was written by a local man who also conducted.

I started Japanese lessons finally, at the Kumamoto YMCA. I'll be taking the 4th level Japanese Proficiency exam in December, and the classes are super. The 4th level is the basic level test, so I think I'll be able to pass. I considered taking the 3rd level, but I think whether or not I could pass is borderline at this point. With only two months to study, I thought I'd play it safe and go for the 4th. I have to say though, for what might be the first time in my life, I'm so exciting and interested in studying.

I also started Jodo lessons a couple of weeks ago. Jodo(properly written 'Joudou') is "The Way of the Staff." I'd been thinking about trying it for a long time, and when I saw the time of the Japanese lesson and the Jodo training coincided, I took the opportunity to start both. A lot of the same people who train in Aikido train in Jodo here, and lucky me, Awesome Guy is one of the teachers. If he teaches me for a majority of the practice time, I think I can up my skill level really fast.

Awesome Guy is such a gentle and strict teacher at the same time, and he's a little goofy too, his English is so funny. He knows all these technical terms for movements, but his grammar can be totally off, so I sometimes have to translate it again in my head, or else I laugh, for example: 'You holding jo straight ahead posture very bad. Turning can't see side gooooood.'

The class takes a lot of concentration and 'focus power.' There are 12 kata/forms to be learned, paired with bokken/wooden sword. Honda Sensei, the head Aikido teacher, also happens to be the head of this school of Jodo on Kyushu Island. It's a great opportunity, and although I waited a long time to start, I'm glad I've finally begun.

Sports Festival Weekend

The Sports Day is a national holiday set aside for improving the health of the body. The official holiday is next Monday, but each school has its own Sports Day festival. If you haven't been to one of these, it can be hard to imagine what it's like, so I'll try to paint a picture.

The students have been practicing dance moves, marching formations, and general fitness exercises for weeks now to prepare for the festival.

Yesterday(Friday) and today, we, the teachers and students and I, spent the day doing a sort of dress rehearsal. I'm on the 'props and preparation' team, and that means my team is running around setting up obstacle courses, games, and cleaning up after events. It is a fun job.

The students have been split into three teams, red, white, and blue. They complete against each other for points in games throughout the day. There are relay races, combined with three-legged races, in which one of the 'three-legs' is picked spontaneously, for example, my name could get picked, and I'd suddenly have to join the race. There is an event where red, white and blue balls are scattered in the center of the track, and the teams have to scurry and get them and try to throw them into different high baskets for points. There's team jump-roping, and team pole-running(yes, um, I'll have to post a picture of that). Between events, there are kiddie races, PTA member competitions, and dances. I'll be wearing a yukata(summer kimono) for one. The whole thing is a huge production, and it can be pretty amazing to witness and be a part of at times.

Tomorrow's the real thing, when the parents, brothers, sisters, PTA members, and community members come to watch. So the teachers have been working overtime--Friday night and tonight. After the festival, we'll have a teacher's drinking party, and we all get off Monday, hopefully for a job well done.

I had a lot of free time this week at school because practice often replaced class time. It's nice to have a low-stress time at the beginning of the second term. I think it's been good for everyone to break from the strict schedule for a while.

My prediction is the red team will take the title this year. Challengers??

Koizumi Steps Down

Big news in Japan.

wash the blankets

Two nights ago it started getting cold here, so I climbed on top of my bed, and pulled out the storage container with the winter blankets. And man, am I allergic to them. In fact, I can't even sleep because my nose gets stuffy and I keep sneezing. So I figure it's time to wash the blankets.

I wasn't here for the typhoon that hit Kyushu last Sunday, because the plane back from Kansai/Osaka to Fukuoka(Kyushu) was cancelled. It left a day later, so I had a day layover, you might say. I was freaked out for a couple minutes, because I thought I was going to have to not only sleep on an airport bench(as the service woman suggested) but also spend the next day until the evening in the airport. This was after 15 hours of restless sleep on planes from Philly to Chicago to Japan...
I can't imagine how it would be to be a Katrina victim, and be completely displaced. Just having to deal with finding a place to stay for one night was hard for me. But there was one person I sort of knew...

Yoshimi, who sometimes comments here, called her mother for me, and I scurried onto a bus and met her in the city of Wakayama, 1/2 hour south of Osaka. She took me to her home and fed me, and let me stay in Yoshimi's old room. She really came to my rescue in short notice, and she was very graceful about it. Here's a picture of her house and garden in Wakayama:




But when I did get back home, I found things scattered all over my yard, and potted tree tipped over, and the washing machine door opened and the tiny machine filled with dirt and leaves. Luckily, this was the only damage done to my place. The school wasn't as lucky as I was. This is the wall of the gym:




Finally, the annual Tawara Festival was yesterday. That's the one where teams pull oversized-hay barrels in a race against time to pop balloons. The prize for the fastest team is a year's supply of rice and about $5000. I watched a half hour, and I snapped this photo of a taiko group:

Then, I went to the marathon set of rehearsals. It was 5 1/2 hours total practice time. I found out it was because the conductor was only going to be in town for this time, so we didn't have any other practice times he could make it before the November concert. All the music is going fine--the Mozart is a flurry of 16th notes: it's challenging to keep up. And btw, it's not the 4th Symphony, it's the Symphony in E-flat major, KV543, but I don't know what # symphony. If someone is looking for 350 bonus points, they are up for grabs with the answer to that question.

Enjoy your weekend!!

1 big black, 1 big white, 3 big gold, 2 tiny pipsqueaks

Hi. Back. Thanks for the well-wishes for the trip, everyone. It was really fun to see the whole family dressed so nicely. My cousin's wedding was quite beautiful, and her husband is such a kind man. He's always put me at ease whenever I'm around him. And the best thing is that they seem to be happy to know and be with each other.

Two days now--tired. Today, I feel like I sat all day. The students are practicing for the sports festival next week and so I only have one or two classes to teach every day. So I've been reading a lot. This is great for me. But when I feel so tired, I think I'd rather get some exercise somehow.

Tonight was an orchestra rehearsal of our pieces for the concert following the October 8th one. October 8th we're playing 3 pieces written by a Kumamoto man, about Kumamoto's famous places. It doesn't use the pentatonic scale or anything. It sounds like Rodeo or something.

Tonight's rehearsal was Mozart's 4th Symphony, the Overture to the Magic Flute(score!!!), and Beethoven's 5th. Tonight, the first rehearsal on these pieces, we played everything at full speed. It kicked my butt hard, as first rehearsals tend to do.
I've never played the Mozarts, but I've played the Beethoven a few times. And the bowings are different every time. I stink at bowings--that is one of my weaknesses as on orchestral player. So I decided to pay very, very close attention to all the bowings this time around, and make them as important as the notes themselves, so as to be in sync, even in rehearsals. We'll see how that goes.

The orchestra I used to play in in the US used to play a lot of Strauss, and Mahler, and I dunno, uh, Debussy, or such. But this orchestra seems to do basic works and crowd pleasers. Kind of like how in Aikido here we do so much kihonwaza, basic technique. Maybe as a volunteer orchestra, they believe we are only up to the basics(which is certainly not true, in my opinion) or, more likely, classical music is not all that well-known down here in East-Jabip, Kyushu.

We have another rehearsal tomorrow. Strings from 2:30-5, and full orchestra from 6:30-9:00. The concert is more than a month away, so I don't know why we have 5 hours of practice tomorrow. I'll be missing Aikido(now two weeks in a row) and because of the hour commute, will sort of give up the Saturday for the rehearsal. Such is life... but I like playing, and the violin's sounding really nice now that I finally got those new strings on it.

Well, this post could go on and on, because I'm worn-out and just saying whatever comes into my head.

Did I tell ya? I finally got those goldfish for my desk in the office. There are 7 fish, and they often make me happy I came to work. My dream house always has fish in it.

Good night.

And she's off...

again to the U.S. for the pleasure of my dear cousin's wedding. See ya in a few days, cats.

Superior Man's Club Okay With Me

I learned some interesting things from talking with Hiro tonight about the Imperial Family line. As it turns out, the family line was never meant to be a maternal line at all. In fact, if you go back to each time when there was a woman empress, regardless of whether she had children or not, the line was cut after she died. Officials, or some such people, would follow the family line back until they could find a living male heir, be it second-cousin or what have you, and that male would succeed the throne. Hiro reminded me that the 'original god' of Japan was a woman(, perhaps the 'goddess of creation?' I really don't know); yet the imperial line was only ever meant for males. An analogy that made sense to me would be that the line is like a lion's club for men, or a 'Way of the Superior Man's club,' if you will. It wasn't intended for women in the first place, and that, I can understand. And now that I understand, it's okay with me.

In that light, I see no problem with holding to the desire to keep the 'club' alive, and hoping that the princess would have a male child. I now believe there is a lot of misunderstanding about the situation, and I'm glad that it was cleared up for me, so that I could find peace with a very sensitive topic.

When I asked Hiro where we could find something similar which showed an appreciation of the women's historical lines, he reminded me again that women in history have mostly been thought of as inferior to men in some way, so those lines have probably not been thought to be important to keep. Only recently, have people been opening to the possibility that women are not inferior, but maybe just different.

So, he suggested I start a maternal line--I don't know if I'm the one to do it, but I do think there's no reason why a woman/women shouldn't start. Have they already started? Is there a maternal family line, with records kept from long ago, which is still alive today? I wonder, and I do remember hearing about lines of priestesses, but a strictly maternal blood line?? Hmm...

All in all, I'm glad women have opportunities to be appreciated for what they are more and more these days. And through all of it, I can say I'm glad I was born female. And as I learn to love being a woman more and more, I hope I am also becoming a part of what's to be appreciated about them.

Currently's news...

The heat finally broke this week, and the mosquitos are happy to see me outside again. I'm not as happy to see them, so I smell like poison from all the spray I have on...

I had a last-minute visit from the principal and vice-principal of the school today. There had been some problems with my living situation, which had been taken care of by the previous principal, and the current principal wanted to check out the place to get his own feeling for things.

Here in Japan, a lot of companies find housing and provide partial rent for employees. Following that scheme, my school found my place, paid the deposits, and I moved into the place they chose last year, when I started my job at the new school. So, technically, the school owns me. Well, my house. Well, part of it. So that means a lot of teachers know where I live, and the administration is free to come over whenever they want. Fortunately, they haven't seen much reason to come by, but it sure is odd to have the school principal(sort of my boss) come into my house, 'just to take a look around.' But I think it was just because he wanted to see the grounds, and had concern for the safety of the place, the condition, etc. We had a nice, stifled time talking about the weather, the street outside my house, etc. I really try hard to speak as much as I can at these times, but mostly I have nothing to talk about. He was really courteous though about the whole thing.

So I came home from school today, and planned to go to Aikido. But for the first time in a long time, I don't want to go. I want to be there, but I don't feel like driving the hour to get there. I think it's because I feel a little weak right now...

I haven't been eating much for the past couple of days. I read an article on the hordes of preservatives and additives in convenience store food over here(lemme see if I can post that article--it's at school now). It was something which I wasn't aware of, and it made me very sad, and so I decided to avoid conveniece store prepared foods(bento boxes, packaged breads, and salads, etc.) as much as possible.

Unfortunately, on days like yesterday and today, when there isn't much time to cook between work and practice, I have been going without much food, which, I think, might be poor alternative. I like cooking, and I've learned some interesting ways to cook Japanese foods, but of course, it takes time and effort.

I suppose by planning in advance, it's doable to cook for Tuesdays and Wednesdays and avoid the 'conbini'(i.e., 'Seben Ereben', a.k.a. '7-11', 'everyone', 'FamilyMart', 'Yamazaki Shop', etc. ;-) ). Hmm, that means shopping on a schedule, too. Hmm, that may just be possible.

Anyway, it's pretty late to go to practice now. That's a shame; never like to miss it. But oh, well. Maybe I'll head over to the conbini for a nice fried-shrimp bento... wait a second. Instead of that, I'm going to the market, and going buy me some shrimp, and make me a nice fresh shrimp-fried meal right here. That's the ticket...
later, all!

Chance lost for Empress

Well, most every one interested in Japan has probably heard the news by now. Yay! Congratulations, Princess and family!

(Well, that solves that, I guess. Whew, lucky no one had to change any rules over it--having an empress would have been terrible for so many people, for sure!! And to think, the pressure to have a male heir only caused the princess to have a nervous breakdown once! At least she could get pregnant again, right?

What's the big deal about all this anyway?

Really, there have been empresses in Japan before(eight of them, actually). I think a lot of people believe either males or females are innately good leaders. And I personally don't think the strengths of men are more powerful than the strengths women possess. I'm talking innate strengths, the stuff nature gives us. I wonder why having an empress would have been such a horror.

To tell you the truth, and my own gender aside, I hoped she would have a girl. Just to have something change around here, and to make people look at their own biases, which seem to be based in fear. I see this as a chance lost for many Japanese to go through some quite interesting and challenging introspection. And of course, for Princess Mako, a.k.a. the one who got pushed aside, as a chance lost to change the hearts of those people.)

That said, (yet, regardless of how I personally feel,) may the prince and Emperor-to-be, live long, and be healthy and happy. Bansai!!!

Croc Hunter Leaves, Doing What He Loved

Steve Irwin was killed by a string ray today.
This man was a hero to so many people, including me. I loved his approach to animals, to living life so freely and fearlessly, and his courage to show the whole world what he loved. I'm sure he wouldn't regret the way in which he died. It will probably be very, very hard on his family and the people who knew him, because people who didn't even know him, like me, were so touched by his life and work. A sad day, for animal lovers, and for the world.

Chance to be thrown

I had what some might call a lucky break today. Since I came back to Japan a week and a half ago, I've been back to Aikido practice 3 times. The first class back, I was asked to be an uke(the one who receives a technique) at an upcoming Aikido demonstration. I wanted to help out, and had nothing to lose, so I agreed.

During the second class, the person who would be throwing me decided on what techniques he would execute.

The third time, yesterday, we practiced it. And today was the demonstration. A lot of people I know are used to doing this sort of thing without practicing beforehand, but in the dojo here, demonstrations are highly choreographed, and doing one with little prep time is a little chancey. My partner even commented that 'he had the heart of a flea'(nomi no shin) as we were starting.

But we did great! Not only that, I couldn't believe how many people were complementing us afterwards. I felt a little embarrassed by all the praise I was getting. But the highlight of that was when my teacher in Japan, Honda Sensei, told me that the shihan(master instructor) who was watching, Suganuma Sensei, told him that my ukemi(falls, lit. 'receiving') were very well done. I almost didn't believe him, but when I got a chance to talk with Suganuma Sensei at the drinking party afterwards, he told it to me directly. I was so surprised!! I didn't even expect him to acknowledge me, really!

I didn't even notice my ukemi being different from before. I just remember thinking that I'm going to wait for my partner to throw me, and not throw myself. The only other thing I was thinking was that I wanted to regain my own balance each time between being thrown and attacking again.

They are going to give me a copy of the video that someone took, and if I can, I'll post it here. That is, unless they were just humoring me. But somehow, I suspect master instructors try not to humor their students. Well, regardless, I was very excited that people responded to some subtle changes I was attempting to make in my practice. Even if no one had said anything, I was so happy to have been there.

I got up at 5 this morning to make the train to the bus to the dojo. But I feel energized anyway!!


On a slightly different note, everyone at the dojo seems to be pushing for me to take my nidan(second degree black belt) test. Like everyone says I should do it, and that I'm nearly ready, and that it's time to 'level up.' The teachers in the dojo have been hinting about it for 4 or five months. But I've had an internal dilemma about it, so I find I can't give an energetic, 'all right, let's do it.' I feel some sort of loyalty to my teacher back at home(Ikeda Sensei). Also, he hasn't seen me practicing for past two years, so I don't know if he would think I should go ahead and do it. I wouldn't be able to take the test among my friends in Colorado, and, this is debatable, but, I think the test here is much easier to pass than the one I would take at home. Meaning, I think the test at home is more rigorous, and the chance of getting asked to test is much more unlikely. However, I have been training here for two years now, Honda Sensei is absolutely my teacher too. I want to ask Ikeda Sensei what he thinks.

Any Aikidoka or non-Aikido people have thoughts about this?

from a letter 1

In my little outing to school, I'd braced for the worst, but never anticipated the best would happen. I went in thinking that almost no one would notice my reentry into the building, and that I would visit my goldfish, who would have missed me dearly while another teacher was taking care of them, and then I would do some work and go home. Here how it really happened:
I went in, said my Konnichiwa!, and was instantly greeted by two teachers with broad smiles. It was all 'Oh, so how was America? Your face looks tanned! Did you get to see your family?' and so on. Then, I was introduced to two new teachers, who had arrived since my absence. The teacher whose desk is next to mine came in, happily showed me pictures of her summer fun and her cute dog, and then gave me one cucumber of three she had brought, and I quote, for 'cutting practice.'

Whew! What a relief!
I'll start a normal work day from 9-5(if I want--actually, I'm still technically on vacation til the 4th, so there's some flexibility still) tomorrow.

from a letter 2

I wish I had a little more energy so I could write a full letter. But it got late and I've gotten very tired. Tonight was an orchestra practice, the first one I went to since I came back. It also went better than I expected. More on that.
The not great news is that I found eensy-weensy bugs in my tatamis after work today. So I have to do major vacuuming and airing every day. I might have to do some bomb or something, which I detest for many reason. Waa!!
Also, school today started with a 2-hour meeting in which I sat, basically clueless. So I just listened and wrote down all the Japanese words I could understand but didn't know the meaning of. I'll look them up later. Helps me even though the meetings go on and on. I actually got excused early; I think it went on for another hour...

Higher Ground

Well, it's time to go back. To school, that is. There's a small part of me that is looking forward to it. I shall focus on that part as I enter the teacher's room and shout out, "Konnichiwa" for all to hear.
There is another part of me that is still dazed that I'm back. It's not jet-lag either. More like having left so much behind that I'm trying to remember what it was that I was doing here before I left. I guess, in these times, I just gotta keep on going.

First Saturday Airing

It's still morning and I'm already sweating. My apartment definitely has a funny smell. I think it's mildew in the tatami mats, of which there are maybe twenty or so. When I came in two days ago, my landlady was 'airing' the place out. If she hadn't been doing that all month, I think there'd be green mildew all over the mats by now. I've got the windows open as we speak for some airing, before the weather climbs over into 'toasty hot.'

The heat is a real burden for me, even after a lot of training in it before I left. I wonder if what I learned about it so far is to just bear it, and let it bother me minimally. Coming back, though, it's obvious that it's much hotter than Philly or CO. I'm going to shut myself in my room right now, turn on the air-con, and not go out unless I have to. 'Have to' meaning, for example, if someone knocks on the door... hang on...

Ha, ha. :-) Japanese Jehovah's Witnesses at my very own doorstep. Helps to not know Japanese at times like these, chuckle, chuckle.

These first couple days back have clarified some things for me already. Of which kind of climate I prefer: much drier and cooler than here. Of what I haven't been able to do: make many Japanese friends(my 3 closest non-Japanese friends, who all happened to be in Japan on the JET program, all returned to the U.S. this summer). Of something I missed about being in Japan: it's so quiet I can sometimes hear my 'inner voice' again already. And of a hard lesson: it takes a lot of work to make a life in a foreign country. That I have a small network of Aikido and orchestra and other friends here has taken my full effort for two years. I don't envy people who can't return to their own countries. It's much easier to know I have the safety net that is 'home'...

One more year, please.

I'm back to spend year 28 in Japan.

One day back in. I'm jet-lagging as we speak. The only plan today was to train at the dojo, but I fell asleep from about 3pm until 9pm, so I slept right through class. Which explains why I'm awake now at 2:30am.

It's hot and humid, 35 degrees celsius today(bonus: what is that in Fahrenheit?). And the mosquitos are still here, even though I'd asked them to be gone by the time I got back. My garden is overgrown with weeds, and it poured and thunderstormed loudly this afternoon.

Breakfast at Hiro's was rice, miso soup, and okra and goya sliced up with bonito flakes and soy sauce on top. Mmm...
I was treated to lunch by Etsuko, at a traditional restaurant that specialized in *unagi*(cue fingers pointing at head and grimaces by friends). Japanese food sure pleases my palette. I'm a convert. I could eat only Japanese food for the rest of my life. I'd even give up pizza and peanut butter. I didn't eat dinner, because I slept right through dinner time, and when I woke up, I wasn't hungry.

I'm going to lie down now, and maybe I'll sleep too.
Good to be back, more to come.

P.S. It's so quiet here.

Almost Back

It has been next to impossible for me to keep up writing during my trip home. There have been few moments of breathing time, and every time there are, thoughts flood my mind like a waterfall.

And so it follows that I have run out of time to write at this very moment.

When I'm back in Japan on Tuesday, I anticipate it will be back to lots of blogging.

See you soon...

Uh, me?

I sure feel a lot of things shifting, inside and out, inside-out, and upside-down and round and round. In fact, so much is spinning in my mind and world that I don't have much time to reflect lately. Here's my best attempt:

Aikido camp has left me exhausted, but in a good way. In my attempts to be continually pleasant and present, I have a pretty clear memory of the entire week. I took notes after classes as much as possible, on key points I picked up or wanted to look at for further study. I was surprised that many of the things I have been thinking about/working on in Japan were relevant in some way in the training I did here. That is, bonding with my partner and producing a 'zero-sum' outcome(or being 'undetectable,' as someone else put it) from the start of the encounter. I did a lot of thinking about the movement of celestial bodies, galaxies, satellites, and also natural laws and nature on our planet. A lot of the movement I've witnessed and felt in Aikido training can be seen equivalently in the larger macro or smaller micro worlds around. I want to study this particular aspect much more.

On the mat and off the mat, the living connections I could share with other people made me wish I could stay at camp forever. (I want to mention a very great dinner I had smack in the middle of things there with my cousin, while I'm thinking of it.) I ended up spending a lot of my time there with one friend in particular. I neither fought this tendency to give a disproportionate amount of time to one person, nor embraced it to the extent of missing chances to relate to other people. But I was consistently put at ease while in my friend's presence, and felt awakened and happy under my friend's influence. I'll point out that my friend is a man, which must have got everyone wondering about why we could be seen together so frequently when everyone knows I have a boyfriend. I have given this thought. My boyfriend is important to me, and the promise that I have with him was not violated in any of the interactions I had this week. That's all I'll say about that.

Just a couple more things. I got some major overhaul done on my violin, which turned out to be a good little chunk to spend on a musical instrument(at least on my budget ;) ). The neck was removed, reangled, and repositioned into the body, and some length was added to it. That was the major thing. The bridge was also switched out, and the chinrest adjusted. Finally, I got to try four different kinds of strings on it, and found that one speaks much more perfectly for the instrument than the others. I have to seek out these uber strings, and swear by them when I become world famous. (Just kidding--I will never be world famous for my violin playing. And that's an understatement.) And by gosh, it does sound like a whole new instrument when I run the bow across it. I would never have guessed it was the same instrument I took to the shop last week.

Finally, I'd like to say that being back in Boulder is actually my dream come true. Last night, despite my violin's recent exit from surgery and my own rustiness, a group of more-senior-than-I musicians urged me to join them for an evening of playing Haydn, Beethoven, and Mendelssohn quintets.
My home base, at my Colorado mother's place, is a very nice neutral zone from which to begin endeavors here. (By the way, and I hope she won't get mad at me, but she and her husband just celebrated their 33rd year together and I am in awe of their commitment, and the loveliness it carries. [And I'm wishing you the best out there, and thanks.])
Anyway, I got a chance to visit the old stomping ground, a.k.a., the bookstore I used to work for, and I was showered with love, well-wishes, and smiles; so I bought $50 worth of books.
Sheesh, am I bordering the edge of annoyingness when I say that I even enjoyed seeing my dentist and getting a good cleaning? I think so. I'll stop now.

Underlying everything is my knowing that I'll be back in Japan in less than 3 weeks, probably struggling to create lesson plans which I don't know how to teach effectively, more struggle with communication, isolation and almost no friends to talk with and relate to, and it will all have been too good to be true.

Good food, adventure around every corner, and a loving boyfriend. I suppose on either end, everything will be just fine.

(If the above had an arrogant air about it, I want to say that I didn't mean it in that way really at all. A lot of things are happening in me, to me, and around me, so it's logical that the me's start to add up.)

Best to you all out there.