Psyched by Results

I just took an online test for the second level Japanese Proficiency test, the test I'll be taking later this year. It's the same online test I took a few months ago before I started studying. It's not a comprehensive test, but it covers kanji, grammar, and vocab. Anyway, last time when I took it I got something like a 47%. Today, I got a 61%. On this test, 60% is passing. This is the first positive sign that I may actually have a chance. Woo hoo!! Wish me luck!

Light Holes

Pre-Hollywood Garfield the Cat once said 'I'm not sleeping. I'm checking my eyelids for light holes.'

My blog looks kind of dark and shadowy, don't you think? Or like it lurks in deep sea waters? Sometimes that's how I feel, as if I move through life in shadows, as if not to be noticed too much. It could be my nature, it could be my allergy to sunlight(joke joke), however, on occasion, I do make an appearance at stage center. Sunday was one of those occasions.

My good friend Etsuko, whose name has not been changed for your amusement, goes to great lengths to give me the treatment reserved in the most part, only for beloved family. This makes sense, seeing as I call her my 'Japanese mother' and me her 'American daughter.'

So she got together a group of her most musical friends and asked them to learn a piece of music to perform with me. We consulted and made flyers, she rented a hall, her friend gathered a sound crew, and we put on a concert last Sunday. She called it 'Celebrating the Pure Joy of Music,' and she herself, just a beginning piano player, learned a piece to perform as the finale sing-along.

This concert, she told me, was to honor me and the 4 years I've spent here in this area. I'll tell you, sometimes I have a hard time looking so directly at bright lights, in this case, it's very hard to accept that people truly wanted to do something to honor what I'd done. Actually, and I'm not even being modest, I haven't really done all that much which has been very significant here, I don't think.

So I couldn't really think of the concert in that way. I emphasized it as a bunch of people I know and care about coming together to listen to and enjoy something that I also love, music. It certainly wasn't a professional production, but it was somehow a very singularly joyous occasion in my life. Through the music, I got to give something to all those people that I feel give me so much. We anticipated 50 people to show, 60 tops, but the final count was 77. Not just my friends, of course, but many more friends than we imagined. (Etsuko had made gifts for the first 50 guests--hand-sewn cloth chopstick carrying pouches)

I played in 6 pieces: two classical, two traditional Japanese(with koto!), a sing-a-long, and a Japanese pop cheesy feel-good song that made me feel good and cheesy.
There were 14 pieces total, and everyone made a good effort at their own various levels.

When we finished, I played a technically challenging piece as an encore. When I was done, I was showered with more bouquets of flowers than I could hold. I recommend the experience. I was sure to see that Etsuko got her flower showers too. I told her that she is one of the best examples in my life of how to be a great and kind person.

It strikes me that I was nervous in the morning, but not once the concert started, like not at all. And that I really got into the music. And that I didn't really make mistakes(well... not that I think other people actually noticed...). It was a different kind of thing for me. It's just not that often I get to be in my element, confident, and surrounded by people I know.

I'm surprised that I've gotten these kinds of chances, but I live in a small town on a small island. In their own way, everyone has something to offer here...

Thanks to a most wonderful friend, Etsuko, for making these wonderful memories with and for me.

Happy Day

It's been a hectic couple of weeks. A friend is in visiting from the U.S., and we went to Kyoto for a day, where I introduced her to some of my friends with whom she is staying now. I also spent a day by myself in Nagano to look at a school for music up there.

Also, I'm preparing for a concert in which I'll play some violin music and also an Aikido demonstration next month. On Sunday, I gave a speech to the International Society of Ariake and played some violin. I'm stretched a little thin, but you know what, I'm not stressed at all. I'm learning how to deal with things as they come, rather than stress over all the things I've got to do. It's a great feeling.

Finding a Calling

I never meant to let it go this long. I mean, my life is consumed by tasks such as these.

Sincerely, I've tried and failed to post many times, ignoring my computer's state of health. It's time to admit I've let my resistance to getting it fixed go on for too long, way too long. It's like, a "thing" now. Like something that I've actually avoided doing. What a sucky, adversive way to go about dealing with problems.

I realize as time goes by that there really aren't that many chances in life to really take chances, so to speak. Most of the time, I don't know about you, but my life is spent taking care of things in a kind of perpetual motion of errands, obligations, and distractions, usually a kind of 'catch-up' for things I'd meant to do, meant to watch, meant to write, meant to get fixed, etc.

Living in this way, it never feels quite satisfying because once one thing is finished, there's already something else nagging to get done. Will the endless tasks ever get done, will I ever fully embrace my infinite, scattered interests?

I don't think it's possible to do it all or finish it all; I've finally decided that. Plus, I've made too much a mess of the things I've already started by doing them half-heartedly...

Going through daily motions, taking care of things, taking care of obligations, pulling weeds and nurturing buds and watering flowers in the little garden that's grown up around me in life takes all my time. And I'm still not even very good at it! The so-called 'garden' looks so random, as if there isn't any focus.

So what can I do? Whittle down my interests? Stop taking care of things? No, that's not what I think, and you? I think that if there is something, a calling to be heard, a focus to be found or created, and if all these daily life things are being tended to, it will be much easier to recognize.

I pray that I can see it clearly when it's close at hand. That all the time spent getting myself together will have been some use in some way.

I wonder if love is growing me in its garden?? Please, can I bloom?

Elevated to 'Cute' Status

This just in: I have been upped in status by one of my first-year(10th grade) classes. My promotion began with one student, a trumpet player in band, who, upon my entering the classroom at cleaning time would announce, "Julie's so cute!!" In English terms, this is effectively saying, "Julie is cooler beyond words. How does she do it?!" Gradually, one by one, the other students began to take her lead, and it came to the point where I was walking out of the classroom last week and I heard a chorus of "Cute!!!"s follows by heavy sighs. Honestly, I'm not sure what I did to be granted the honor. But I shall bask now in the glory of cuteness-supreme, and do my best not to show my lack of understanding. Cleaning with the first-graders has now become a perk of the job!

Peaches, Hollywood and a nice hot bath

Was at the hot spring near my house last night when we ran into Furu-san from Aikido. It's always humorous to see someone outside the context you regularly see them in. We tossed a few jokes back and forth and then he smiled. He's got this great warm smile that makes you feel like a kid, and then a million bucks and then a beer. Well, maybe in my case a plum wine cooler.

Then, Peaches and I went and took our baths. Japanese hot springs are heavenly. I mean, they're nothing like I could've imagined before I moved practically right next to one. For starters, all the ladies are naked along with you, and nobody looks at you. They don't even look at me, and I look different from all of them (because I'm all-western like, you see)! So there's no awkwardness. So you go in, wash off, and then just stroll around until you find a pool you feel like soaking in. Most bath houses have four or five pools, a cold plunge, and a sauna.

Yesterday I went to the outdoor spring first. The stars were out and the steam was rising like a hazy mist from the water. And I just enjoyed being legally, publicly naked--bare-bodied and free. And both Peaches and I smelled like sulphur for the rest of the night.

Peaches and I have been spending a lot of time together since the Hokkaido trip. We started an exercise regime together, and she's started coming to Aikido classes. We also learn calligraphy together. Good thing I like Peaches and she likes me because we see each other way too much now.

I've also been hanging out with Shaggy a lot, whose name is no longer Shaggy, but Hollywood. Oh, and I've been reading Catch-22; can you tell ;-P ??

Hollywood and I get along famously as well. In fact, I'm kind of smitten with his boyish charm. But most people are, I think. He's one of the most easy-going people I know, and everybody seems to be pretty fond of Hollywood. He has a knack for blurting out some totally spectacular observation about the topic of conversation(quite loudly and unselfconsciously, which is charming in itself), simultaneously remembering something like that he left his car door wide open in the middle of the street. Typically we hear something like, "That was contrasted in two different essays I read last week. The tatemae and the honne are absolutely two sides of the same coin. Oh, F!*&in s####%!, I'll be right back! Oh, man!!"

I suppose this is a continuation of the Friends Project, in which I vowed to make a truck-load of friends this year. And what are friends for but to be made, I always say. Except of course that this is the first time I've said it.
Have a good weekend!!

Not-o Natto??!!

Valentine's Day. A day of showing heartfelt love and appreciation, of giving home-made cookies, and if you are lucky enough, receiving as well...

Messiah, who works for the natto company, for reasons beyond my utter comprehension, unloaded a whole box load of the foul-smelling, indeed, yummy-tasting stuff into my fridge on February the 14th. I couldn't eat this much natto in a whole month, and I even like the stuff!!


from www.bookmice.net/darkchilde/japan/jnatto.html :

Natto is fermented soy beans. The beans are boiled, wrapped in straw and left to ferment for several days. They have vitamins, fiber and protein and thus are a good source of nutrition.

Natto dates back at least 1000 years and eventually became a favorite of people living in Edo, the capital city of Japan at that time.

People sold natto basically door-to-door. Some people added it to miso, others added minced onions and soy sauce and then poured the entire sum over some hot rice. It's cheap and has a rather strong odor.

Natto is sometimes used as a breakfast food, mixed with beaten raw egg and soy sauce, then poured over steaming hot rice. Natto is definitely not a favorite of non-Japanese, though, and even many Japanese do not care for it.

Thrills Up North

More and more memories keep flooding my head from last week's Hokkaido trip. I was in Sapporo for three nights, and Abashiri, on the north-eastern coast, for two.

Like I'd almost forgotten how on the first night, after arriving in Sapporo, my traveling buddy, we'll call her Peaches, really wanted to have some nabe for dinner. 'Nabe' in English translates to 'pot,' and in this context it means various Japanese veggies and fishes boiled and served straight from a big pot. I thought it sounded good, so we looked for a place to go. After a while of walking around and getting really hungry, I finally asked two men wearing business suits standing in front of a restaurant if they knew a good place to eat nabe. As if it was their own personal mission, they started searching around, even calling up to one of the restaurants on sign to see if they served it. Finally, one of the guys goes 'doh!' and that he's knows a place just a block down, on the other side of where we were. And just to be sure we made it there, he walked us all the way there.

Those two crabs are going to stick with me for a long time too. In both Sapporo and Abashiri we stayed in youth hostels, which was a first for me. I didn't really know what to expect, so I didn't have much expectation. The hostel in Sapporo wasn't so much to speak of. The hosts gave us our sheets and told us our room numbers. We met some American girls who were JETs in Kyoto there. The beds were lumpy and the heater was turned up so high I sweat through my pjs. But the hostel in Abashiri was completely different. It was more like a B&B. They took us to a snowy hot spring at night, the guests were friendly and chatty(we were the only non-Japanese, btw, except for this kid Tony, who was half-Japanese, half-New Zealander) and they offered home-cooked breakfasts and dinners. The dinners are what I would like to talk about right now.
On the first night, we had crab legs. These were beautiful, meaty, and delicious. They were served with the most delicate-looking scallops I've even seen.






This was served with salmon rice, curry, and several small side items like spinach in a peanut dressing.



The second night, we signed up to have dinner again, and to my utter delight, and slight wooziness, we were served this 'hairy crab':


Mine had so much meat I just kept on eating more and more, and it was absolutely delicious. I petted the crab's shell. It was fuzzy, like a big fuzzy spider. Ick. But yum. It was served with crab rice, and several other side items too. Both of these meals, amazingly enough were about (US) $13. I noticed a little later on when we went to some food stands downtown that each of these crabs on its own, for a whole crab(we ate half crabs) were around $35-$50.

Snow-mobiling has to be one of the most fun things to do on the entire planet. But let me start with what we did on our fifth morning--something myseriously entitled 'Naturing.' If you don't know what that is, you are in the same boat as Peaches and I were that morning when we got to a frozen-looking ocean and got handed wetsuits. Turns out naturing means going out to play around on drifting ice blocks and floating leisurely around out off the coast of the Sea of Okhotsk One of the highlights was that Tony found this little creature with his see-through bucket called a clione . They are shell-less, tiny little floaty things that bear a striking resemblance to, of all things, angels. And they live in, of all places, freezing cold water. Peaches and Tony spent a long time watching the little thing flap its angelic wings, while I lay on my belly, face 2 inches from the freezing depths, looking for more. Didn't find any more though.

Then we went ice fishing. Well, -they- went ice fishing while Peaches and I watched. Then we went over to the look at snow sculptures at a nearby festival site. This is all taking place in Abashiri, remember, not Sapporo. Sapporo had its own huge festival going on too, but hopefully I'll get to that later. At the little site in Abashiri, we saw some snow mobiles and also some snow rafts. Since we'd tried snow rafting already back in Sato Land in Sapporo, we thought we'd like to try snow mobiling. So we bought our tickets and went out to the snow mobiles. There was no line, and the guys signaled that we didn't need helmets, so we just went right up to them. The guy told me to sit down, so I did, leaving room at the front for him to sit. But then he motioned for me to move to the front and for Peaches to scooch in behind me, which surprised us both. He gave me a 20-second tutorial on how to work the thing, and then he left!! So I'm sitting there in the front grinning ear to ear. And poor Peaches grabs me and hangs on for dear life. I comment to her that they have no idea what they just did, pump the gas once and shoot off down the course at full speed. And my heart was pounding from the thrill of that trip until late into the evening.

Yes!! I want to write more about this trip!

We Get What we Deserve

Shaggy left me a message saying "Did you get yours??" and I had to think because I hadn't gotten anything. But I looked again, and there, buried in the bottom of the plastic orange wanna-be mailbox was the cheap waxy papered postcard I've been waiting for since December 2nd of last year. For those of you who have been anxiously awaiting the results of my Japanese 3rd Level Language Proficiency Test (as I have), they came today.

Here's the breakdown:

Writing/Vocab: 96/100
Listening: 83/100
Reading/Grammar: 176/200

Total Score 355/400
Passing percentage: 60%
My percentage: 89%

WooWeeee! I'm so psyched!!! My goal was a 90%, and I came thiiiiis close! I studied so hard and it took so much effort but I passed and got decent score. Of course, I'm aiming for even higher for next time, but for now, I really couldn't be happier.

For comparison's sake, last year I scored a 94% on the 4th level test.

I leave for Hokkaido tomorrow on a 6-day trip to go to the Snow Festival and do some other cool stuff. Report and photos to come...

A Day in the Life as an Assistant English Teacher

Uh, lemme see... Last weekend on Saturday night, I went to an Aikido yudansha seminar, which means that only people above a certain ranking are invited to attend. The practice revolved around variations of ikkyo 'first' technique, and Sensei promised to move through variations on many other basic Aikido techniques as we went through the year. The seminars are held every two months.

As for my progress in Aikido since I joined this group last March, well, I've made definite progress in some areas. My back rolls are becoming natural and smoother. I'm very quick getting up, and I've memorized many of the progressions of techniques that we do, including the basic long form with the jo(short staff), and some of the shorter bokken forms. But in many ways, I still feel quite weak, in some of the same areas I had weakness before I joined. I will keep those areas to myself in case we ever meet, because then you would know exactly how to kill me. No, ha ha, I'm just kidding. One area I have trouble in is that I often confuse my right and left. We generally follow the example showed by the teacher, and many times I will stand up to practice the technique with my partner and start with the opposite hand the teacher showed, or from the opposite stance, etc. This happened a lot even when I trained in Colorado. One teacher in particular would patiently repeat, "That's a fine technique, but the one we're doing right now looks like this..." I even pay special attention sometimes and still do something different, often opposite. Physical dislexia, if you will.

Okay, on to another topic. What I do at work these days(did it ever change?): Well, you'd all be proud to know that I plan on continuing my on-time streak(28 days and counting), but after I get to work, what do I do?

I have anywhere from 1-5 classes these days, and so first I plan for those. That is, after the morning meeting where we all stand up, bow to the principal and say "Good Morning" really loudly, have the morning meeting, and then meetings by grade. After that, I usually go get my mug from the kitchen and have some breakfast mix, followed by either some green tea or steaming hot water. THEN, I plan the lessons out for the day. Usually, I've already finished the plan for most of the lessons before the morning, so after that I sit and wait for class to start. If I have class, I consult with the teacher I'll be team-teaching with and grab the stuff we need and head for the classroom.

I teach one class by myself, which also happens to be my favorite class. It's called Advanced World Culture, and I teach all sorts of cool things about other cultures. The students choose a country (besides the US, because I'm from there) and do special research on it to make a poster. Their final posters are due tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it a lot.

That class aside, most of the other classes use this book called Marathon Mouth, which is the textbook I picked for last year. One class uses My Passport 2, a really great text that prepares students for traveling abroad, which I also picked out. It's just my opinion, but most of the students don't seem to know that the textbooks they are using are special because they are non-government issued textbooks. I'm not sure many of them care at all because I don't think the majority take English Conversation class seriously. Which is too bad for me because with the exception of 2 classes, English conversation is all I teach. These days, I find most classes to be humdrum, with 3 students at most actually excited about learning.

So then I return to my desk and choose which activity I'd like to fill my time with. Generally, I start with kanji because I can stay awake better if I do them in the morning. I'm learning several kanji a day, of course, because I've resolved to pass the next level Japanese test at the end of the year and there are a lot of kanji I have to know. To supplement that, as I said in the last post, I started calligraphy lessons 3 weeks ago. Those are going well.

Then I study grammar and vocab. It's still hard, but I really enjoy it. This learning is slow for me. I'm at an intermediate level now, even after all this time. I suppose I would do best to be patient with myself! Then I read surprise, a kanji book. I was reading Eat, Pray, Love, but I finished it last week, and the kanji book was right there.

I also got some stuff for my Nintendo DS, which is a rocking game system. I basically use it as my electronic dictionary becuse it's AWESOME, but I have a 'game' now where you can trace poetry and other Japanese texts. It might seem like I'm getting carried away with all this kanji and writing and stuff, but trust me, I'm only doing what it's gonna take to be able to read it eventually. It's super hard, yo!!

The other 'game' I got is from this manga comic that I found here. I only like one manga, as far as I can tell, and it's this one bout this cook and his friends and all the situations they get into having to make food for people. It might sound silly, but it just resonated with me somehow. Oh, check that. I like two manga. The other one is Doraeman, the cat-like robot from the future. But that's mainly cause I can read it. It's for kids. This other one is for anybody. Back to the game, it's a whole recipe book which actually tells you step by step how to make all the dishes from the comic, tells you how to prepare stuff, etc. etc., and get this, it actually times you to see if you can make it in the suggested time limit. All the pics are photos and there are also drawings from the comic, including what number in the series the recipe is located in. And I don't even cook!!!!

Okay, well, for myself I do.

I haven't really been interested in getting any so-called 'real' games yet. I love the 'reality games.'

So I've been doing those things at work too. Then I check email and write people. Already 4 people are making noises about visiting in the spring. I can hardly wait til the cold is over and it gets warm again. Been keeping my hands warm, btw. No frostbite for me this year. No sir.

Finally, I often have a little nap after lunch. Many of the teacher take little snoozes a their desks, which is possibly unthinkable in most jobs in the US. But since everyone works so hard around here(it's all relative), I think people just assume whoever it is must need the extra sleep. I don't, but if I don't have something else to do I get sleepy.


It's not hard to find a cat-napper on any given day!

Then, before I know it, it's 3:20pm and it's time to clean the school. All this year, I've been cleaning with the 1st class of 10th graders. We move all the chairs to one side of the room, sweep the floors, wipe down the floors, move the chairs to the other side of the room, sweep, wipe, and put the chairs back. No janitors in these schools. Everybody shares the responsibility of keeping the schools clean.

Sometimes, instead of that, I'll clean my fish tank. I recently got 3 more goldfish from the Naked Man festival. I took video of the festival this time so you would actually believe how crazy nuts I tell you it is, but you also know that I don't know how to put videos on here, so gosh, that's just gonna have to wait. The fish came from one of the vending booths at the festival. My friend Brian won them for me, and he named them too: Ago, Higo, and Yugo. Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. They were not amused.

When I hear the 5o'clock chimes, I know I'm free to go. But I often stay til around six to make sure lessons are ready for the next day.

Sometimes, on the way home, the little old lady who lives next to the school will see me hurrying by and call me over to her large garden. She'll share the days news about a half a dozen failed daikon radishes and show me the moth holes, or tell me about how it is getting old. Today, she had come from the dentist and they had to take out several of her teeth. So she talked to me from behind a gauze mouth-mask, saying 'I was too embarrassed to go around without any teeth while they make my new ones." I returned home with more broccoli than one person can eat without turning green and sprouting a 'fro.

Keep Going

I typed about half an hour yesterday about the Mt. Fuji trip before my computer crashed and I lost everything even though it was saved. I'm not really interested in this mac anymore, but it's the only computer on which I can write this blog. Since computers aren't my speciality and I don't want to send it away to get it fixed, I'll just keep on plodding and posting when the winds are favorable.

I got elected as the MVP of my Aikido school this year. I received a beautiful certificate and was asked to give a speech last Sunday at the New Year's party. I wrote the speech by myself, and then Etsuko helped me put the thing into formal Japanese. It was so fun, and I was so excited on the way over to the party. It was a pretty fancy affair, and for me, it was the first time I've been formally acknowledged for anything besides my work contract at school. I gave my speech, and we all ate and drank to our heart's delight. Afterwards, 10 of us headed towards a nearby karaoke bar.

Karaoke, although I adore it, is not my particular speciality. I want to sing and sound like everyone else; somehow, they all seem to have perfect pitch and lovely vibratos. And 8 of these 10 of us were men. When my voice comes out, for example, as I sing Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven" or Dido's "Thank You," I want to sound, well, like Eric Clapton or Dido, just like the others sound like the original singers of their songs--even their English pronunciation in right on, though not a one of them speaks English. But alas, I just sound pretty regular and like I'm trying a little too hard. Karaoke is a Japanese cultural tradition, since 1963. Before that time, no one here could sing. But now people are forced to do it from the time they put on their first business suit, so they have no choice but to become really spectacular at it. As for me, I think all those guys were looking at me, wanting Dido's voice to come out of my untrained lungs so they could praise me and clap along. But when it was my own, uh..., smurfy voice that surfaced, it was all they could do to... praise me and clap along, really well-intentioned-like. Gosh, this is a nice place.

I know you're wondering about my speech. I would be too, except that I wrote it. I spoke about how quickly the time has passed and how I was honored that I could earn this award having joined the group less than a year ago. I spoke about (and I kid not) the undiluted joy I felt when we all met for the first time off the mat at the 'hanami' cherry-blossom viewing party in March.

I recalled the trip with Katsuki, Kato and Sensei to Yakushima Island last May. I congratulated Sensei and some others on their decision to come to Aikido Camp in the US this July. I welcomed the new students and wished them good luck. I thanked Furu-san for his endless help and patience. I thanked Sensei for his devotion to us, and his dedication to maintaining the heart of O'Sensei's Aikido. Lastly, I told everyone that I was so happy to accept the title of MVP for 2007. Through training, particularly falling down and getting up over and over again, I am taught how to overcome obstacles and find a spirit which perserveres. I told them to throw me a lot, as much they like after this(everyone laughed). Then I thanked the group for allowing me to speak.

Sigh... a real moment in my life.

Afterwards, my friend Shaggy was having his 24th birthday party in the city, so I joined up. I'm starting to fall in love with this particular group of friends. I told you about some of them already, but mix in a couple of us from the West with this group from the East, and there's a certain green with silver sparkles firework that goes off. We're talking fun, fun, fun, until my Daddy took the Daihatsu away. (Thanks to my brother for sending me off last summer with CDs of the Beach Boys. I'm still trying to decide what I think of one of the other ones, 'Bad Plus,' btw. Any opinions, let me know.)

Today, I taught Joe English. His name is 城, so we call him Joe. He's an awesomely enthusiastic student. And this week, he brought me organic Camomile tea, which we drank during the lesson. Last week, he brought me a bottle of sake, which we... uh... And he brought beer the week before. Um, okay, you're starting to understand why Joe is an interesting student. I've known him for almost three years, longer than I've known most of the foreign language teachers around here. He's a crazy and charasmatic 23ish-year old with two girlfriends(uh, what?) and a knack for JENGA. I'll tell him how to say a word in English, like say, "relative," and he'll do a cartwheel and refill my sake cup. He puts the 'Joe' in 'mojoe,' I'm sure(but to be safe, I'll say that I wouldn't personally know).

And I went hiking last Saturday with Ike. We went to collect huge logs of firewood from this shrine deep in the forest so his friend could make Buddhist statues out of them. It was a 'kapa' shrine; this half-turtle, half-friar, demi-god's shrine. His friend made incantations and we poured two huge bottles of sake into the mouth of the resident dragon-guardian statue. I think this statue only gets visitors on special wood-taking ceremony days like that day. We had to pulley some of the larger logs up the hills back to the car because none of other big, burly Ike-like men could lift them. Ike actually isn't burly, but whatever. It was so amusing being a part of the whole thing, and afterwards we relaxed at some natural hot springs.

And I started Japanese calligraphy lessons last week!! Yay, it's going to be great!!!


I dunno. I'm always doing stuff and getting into stuff, but I hadn't been writing about it. I needed a break for a while, I suppose. Things change so fast. I needed to catch up to all the changes, maybe.

Well, it's the start of a new year, and, having put a good four months between today and my previous post, I can't think of better time to start fresh. Of course, New Year's is already over here, and probably where you are too. But you're probably still dreaming about Mt. Fuji or eggplants or something like that if you are from the good ol' West where it's about 3 am.

Which brings me to today's topic. It is said here in Japan that the three luckiest things you can dream of on New Year's Eve, from lucky to luckiest are 1. an eggplant, 2. a hawk, and 3. Mt. Fuji.

Would it count as lucky if you were actually at Mt. Fuji, but unable to sleep?

That's where I was, basically unsuccessfully trying to catch some z's on an overnight bus to Fuji. I made these (in restrospect, odd) plans to travel with my Aikido teacher to Tokyo and Mt. Fuji for the New Year. Let me say, right off the bat, that my teacher and I did not make ideal traveling companions. He's my teacher, so there's this teacher-student relationship thing, which had me carrying his luggage and opening doors for him and so on, and on top of that a rather large generation gap, which had him trying to buy my meals and looking with fascination at my Nintendo DS(used for translation purposes only, I swear!!). At times, this awkwardness left me futzing with my Rubik's Cube or feeling slightly devastated when my cell phone ran out of batteries. But all in all, it made for a more interesting trip, if anything. I found my smile eating fish liver, or bathing with about 50 other naked ladies within view of Fuji.

Among other things, we went to the Aiki Shrine in Iwama, Honbu Dojo in Tokyo(the headquarters of the largest branch of Aikido in the world), this neat little town called Yanaka just outside of Tokyo (now my official 'I want to live here' town), and of course, to Mt. Fuji to watch the first sunrise of the 2008.

First thing after arriving, we left our stuff off at the hotel and went out to Iwama to find the Aiki Shrine.


to be continued...

Feeling the fear--walking right through

I started a new project since returning to Japan in late August. I'll call it the 'Friends Project.' As humanitarian as this title sounds, it is actually a selfish project, ha ha. Based on a decision I made in July to expand my network, I've decided to make a boatload of Japanese friends this year*.

Until this point, the number of Japanese friends I have made who are say, from 25-35, has been limited. When I came here over three years ago, I didn't know anyone, not one soul who lived on the whole island of Kyushu. So my contacts were the people I worked with, and the foreign English teachers, a.k.a, the ALTs(Assistant Language Teachers).

Etsuko came to visit the new ALT in Arao(me) two months after I arrived, and she became my first friend here. Yesterday, we had lunch at a little cafe in OOOmuta. She's nearly the same age as my mother, and as dear as a mother to me.

It was also after two months that Hiro and I met, and began a five-month friendship that would become a wonderful two and a half year relationship.

And then, I stopped making Japanese friends.

This basically means that I had lots of acquaintances(and sadly, so many people who wanted to be friends basically so they could practice their English) but actual friends, who I went out with, enjoyed life with, had over my house to watch videos and laugh with--those seemed to be limited to members of the foreign community.


So I've decided to reverse this, step out from within my private shell to embrace a new network of friends who have been just out of my reach: Japanese my own age.

Here's some recent progress:

The first girl, Maki, went to lengths to meet me. Her sister is a student in one of my classes, and she really wanted to get to know me. So she wrote a letter and had her sister hand-deliver it to me, asking me when we could meet. I phoned her and we had dinner, and it was great. She's a really smart, cute, hip girl and you would probably like her too.

Messiah was next. That's his real name. Met him at a drinking/eating place called an izakaya. He walked in wearing these big Paris Hilton-type sunglasses, followed by an intimidating-looking posse, we hit it off, and next thing you know, he's called to tell me how glad he was to have met a new friend! He's so hilarious too--he works for a natto company, you know, those sticky, smelly fermented soy beans we all love, only he hates natto!

Ike(pronouced 'ee-kay'), is all about fighting arts. I met him in the beginning of September when he came to try out an Aikido class. At the end of class, I felt the fear and walked through it to go up and talk to him. He gave me his card and told me to come out with him and the Aikido teacher on Thursday night. I think he was surprised I actually said okay!! He lives really close to me, so he's been coming over to my house and raiding my fridge!! He and Maki were the first Japanese my own age after Hiro to come over to my house. We watched 'Rocky.' It was Maki's second time. Ike said it was probably his twentieth.

And so, onward from here. I promise to love my new friends and to take care of them and nurture our friendship to the best of my ability. In return, all I want is to be able to call them when I want, to be open whenever they call me, to see them once in a while, and to keep progressing to deeper levels in our friendships. It dawned on me that everybody wants something, and that if I pay close enough attention, I might be able to help them fulfill their needs. I started keeping a little book to keep track of these dreams of my friends, so if I ever have the chance to help them reach them, I will. The book is not limited to the dreams my Japanese friends, though!!!

By the way, I know I just wrote a post saying I couldn't write long posts, and this post is a complete contradiction to that earlier one. I pulled some frozen veggies from the freezer, wrapped them in a cotton bag, and have written this entire post with my laptop cooling off while my legs slowly freeze. Anyway, I can't believe it actually worked.

Have I told you about Joe? Jeez, I gotta tell you about him. (It's Joe-->)



*this means people who I've shared contact info with, feel free to call or make plans with as I like, and who I am open to receiving calls from and supporting in times of need. A 'boatload' means 'less than a shipload, but more that a canoe can hold'

I'm here, I'm here, I'm here!! I have lots of stuff to post, but my computer has been no help! I have to get it fixed before I can do much of anything. I'm told the fan's busted so it's been crashing after a few minutes, every since I came back in late August. Found a mac shop, just have to get it sent off now...

Thank you for your notes asking me when I was going to start writing again. I've sat down so many times and started!!

This month started with a demo with the Aishinkan group on July 1st. Sakabe Sensei put the whole thing on by himself, so it was a pretty amazing experience to be a part of. The Shoheijuku Aikikai school's demo in Fukuoka was much larger, but I enjoyed participating in this one just as much if not more. I had a lot of freedom in my own personal demo, and there were a lot of different kinds of demos to participate in. Sensei's speech at the end was interesting too. He talked about the fundamentals and some of the more universal aspects of Aikido. I wish I could somehow show you some of the video... big project, "learn to use computer." (By the way, my name was listed in the program (4x!) like this: トーレン　ジュリー. cool, huh?)

Hey, also, there was that awful typhoon that came here Saturday. I had language class in the city that morning before it came. (By the way, I passed the practice Japanese Proficiency Test in class!!) When I got back, the wind was already starting to blow things around, so I shut myself up in the house for the rest of the day. There was almost no rain or storming, so it really wasn't all that bad. But I imagine it must have been terrible up in the Tokyo area when it finally took on its full force.

I'm gonna post this now even though it's not done. Experiencing technical difficulties--computer cut out three times now. first time that's ever happened, cutting out, I mean.

Guess this will have to wait a little longer...

If you throw yourself a rope, who is pulling whom?

I had really wanted to go to practice tonight in the city, but I feel terrible. To clarify, there's nothing wrong with me physically. I had wanted to go, I'd had enough time to get there, but I just couldn't bring myself to get in the car and go somehow. The same thing happened last Friday, which makes me feel worse. Friday's Aikido class is really the only day we have enough time to break things down and work on forms and other things slowly, as well as goof around and have fun with each other after class. I feel so sad that I am sitting here now and not over there. What a sucky sort of thing to say, that I'd rather be somewhere other than where I am. Can we ever find happiness by saying such things?

And what am I doing instead of being there? Nothing. I've just been sitting on my bed, staring at nothing. I decided to go to sleep at 7pm. If I had left then, I could've done class. But I went to sleep and woke up groggy and tired. It reeks of depression. I find this embarrasing to write about, especially because I feel I could have prevented it. I've been feeling occasionally understimulated and sad since my friend left a week and a half ago and my family left about 3 weeks ago. (The two packages of crackers and juice for dinner certainly didn't help my mood either, but...) Somehow, I didn't move fast or skilfully enough tonight, and I let my feelings of apathy overtake the power of action. If I had caught on to what was happening sooner I'd have forced myself out of the house and I would've probably been fine.

So, the only thing I could think to do that I thought would help was to write all this down here. And somehow, it does seem to be making me feel better. I think I'll do something to take care of myself now, go for a walk or go get some different food. I suppose I just needed a little perspective. Situations such as these, where I need a rope, are becoming rarer. Maybe if I save up all those ropes I'll have one to throw in case someone else needs one. Maybe Regis will call me.


By the way, I have a few days left to finish up '30 days early,' and I want to be sure to do that properly.
I'll begin again on Monday, and finish up June with minutes to spare!!

Money For Nothing

Interesting development: I went to check out another Aikido teacher. Seeing as I'm so contented under the guidance of Sakabe Sensei, you might wonder why I would wander off to have a lesson under a different teacher.

Well, even within Aikido, just like so much else, there are politics. Since the founder Ueshiba O'Sensei died some 38 years ago, what we know as 'Aikido' today is mainly the Aikido that was spread and developed 'for the masses' by O'Sensei's son. As well, there were other teachers, such as Sunadomari Sensei, who created his own schools of practice, even before Ueshiba O'Sensei's son had made these developments. Sunadomari Sensei is known as a 'prewar' student, one who studied with the founder primarily before World War II. When I saw Sakabe Sensei's class for the first time, it looked different from the Aikido I had seen before, and this explains why.

The politics extend further--Sunadomari Sensei is Sakabe Sensei's teacher, and Sunadomari Sensei is the head of the Honbu(headquarters) dojo in Kumamoto City. It's the largest dojo under this school, the Aiki Manseido Aikido schools. Some time ago, however, Sunadomari Sensei decided to call his style 'Manseido,' or some variation of that which did not include the term Aikido. He told his students that this new art was not to be called 'Aikido' anymore, and that if they wanted to call what they were doing 'Aikido' they would have to go off and form their own group.

So that's what Sakabe Sensei did, ten years ago. He broke off, formed his own group called Aishinkan Aikido, and gathered a following. Then, after a few years had passed, for reasons unknown, Sunadomari Sensei changed the name again to 'Aiki Manseido Aikido,' and began to call the art 'Aikido' again. Sakabe Sensei, I gather, didn't know what to do, so he remained separate, and continued the Aishinkan schools he had started. And here we are today.

But after the demonstration last month in Kumamoto City put on by the Manseido schools, I got a phone call from a man named Honda, a 7th dan teacher at the Honbu dojo telling me that he was starting a class in Tamana. He asked me if I wanted to join, not knowing that I was already training at Aishinkan, so it was a hard call for me. I had to consult my 'inner resources' to reach the conclusion to go and try it out.

When I did go, two weeks ago, I had a fine time; nothing particularly mind-blowing or different from Furu-san's Tuesday night beginner's class. Therefore, I figured my best bet would be to ask Sakabe Sensei if it would be all right to go to Honbu dojo itself so I could learn more about Manseido and, therefore, also Aishinkan. Luckily, and with the help of my good friend translating, I did get that permission.

Here's the money: I got a call from Honda Sensei again tonight. Because his class is full of beginners and there is no one advanced enough to take falls or execute throws, he asked me if I would come back to help him. He wants me to be his uke, his assistant in the demonstrations, and in exchange, he's offered me membership into the Aiki Manseido Aikido schools for free. That's serious money for nothing. Having received the OK from Sakabe Sensei to do as I please, I said yes to Honda Sensei, and begin my 'uke-ship' on Wednesday. It's feels like a break for me--I'm kind of excited already. I'm sure I'll learn a lot too.

BTW, I know I really like talking about the Aikido stuff, but there are a couple of other things I want to share. I wanted Linda to know that I'm thinking of her and sending my love, and thanks to Susan for giving me a square kick in the behind, love to Dad on this day after Father's Day, and thanks again to my friend J who helped me so much when he was here. I'm really glad you could make it finally again, even under the circumstances. (And blu, please start blogging again!)

Very, very sorrying now but, good night. :-)

The End of Act Three

Highly moved by requests received in the long time since we have met here, I'd like to open a new page on the journey into the face of Japan, currently, and in my life. Thank you for being patient while I was silent, and also for reminding me that whether I'm aware of it or not, this writing has significance in people's lives.

When we did last chat, life was beginning to pick up in speed. My trip to Yakushima, the island of emerald green forests and crystal clear waters, had come to an end and, having discovered a force of mystical proportions drawing me towards Sakabe Sensei, we wondered what would lay in the future. The time for waffling on the decision to stay or go was getting shorter and shorter...

Then, just a couple of weeks after, the impossible happened. My mom actually got onto a plane and came out to Japan to see me. I remember the time when she told me that she would never come, that she didn't really have much interest in seeing Japan, that it would be tough dealing with the flight and the jet lag, and wouldn't I be coming home soon anyway??

It helped that my brother came along. That was really nice and wonderful because I don't know if mom would have come otherwise. And so, we spent a week tromping about on this old island.

I pushed them through a pretty full schedule because people usually respond to high expectations, especially if they know it will be worth it all in the end. We went to the castle in Kumamoto, explored the shopping district, and ate green tea ice cream following a walk through Tamana's Iris Festival down at the canal. In the middle of the week, I drove us in my friend Etsuko's van to Aso, the heart of the firelands which is the heart of the island of Kyushu. We dined the old fashioned way, our table being the grill, our food covered with sweet miso paste.

On the last full day of our adventures, we met Furu-san in the morning, and he drove us out to meet Sensei in the city. The place he took us to meet could be the subject of a whole other post. It was an immensely huge warehouse filled with collectibles in every category, so much that they were literally spilling out of the place. From top to bottom, neatly cramped in were clothes, cards(anime, baseball, soccer, postcards, playing cards, etc.), stuffed animals(big, small, anime, realistic, movie-themed, food themed, etc.), miniatures(dolls, foods, action figures, etc.) records, etc., etc. And et cetera--you get the picture. Entirely ridiculous, as, in my experience, only Japanese have orchestrated to such an extent.

Sakabe Sensei was a little late, so we got time to browse the goods. Left our mouths watering, my brother's especially, as soon as he noticed the old and highly bizarre record collection. I, of course, got caught in the miniatures section. I couldn't stop looking at all the mini Japanese food. There were boxed lunches, king crabs from Hokkaido, the northern island, and chestnuts from our very own Kumamoto. I peeled my eyes off the mini box of monkey bananas and collected my brother from the back shelves as Furu-san called us to go.

Sensei drove us all the way down south to the Amakusa Islands, where he was born. We drove over the five famed 'Bridges of Amakusa.' We stop to look out on the fog, in the direction of Nagasaki and also China at several points along the way. We had seafood for lunch, an Amakusa speciality. I was surprised and pleased at my mother's bravery in trying the local cuisine. (An interesting point to note is that I translated the entire day, with additions by Furu-san every now and then when he could think of the English word for something. It was my first real time translating for two parties, and I was wrecked at the end, although my family says I did a fine job. I gained a new respect for what translators must go through to empty themselves of their own thoughts and be open to the interpretation of others at any given moment.)



The culmination of the trip, in my mind, was to accompany my mother back to her hotel and wish her good night from my heart, and go off to talk with my brother for several hours. If, aside from enlightenment, the next most precious gift to the spirit is relationship, then my spirit was surely bright after that night talking together. My brother, both of my brothers, in fact, are incredibly sensitive human beings, just as we all seem to be when it comes down to it. But to be able to have the slightest glimpse of his vulnerabilities and recollections of (unextinguishable!) dreams, there was no place that I felt I wanted to be than right there with my family near.

There are so many details I'm leaving out. Feel free to call me on any of them, okay bro or mom?

Thank you, you guys, for a great trip together and for enduring a long travel to get to this part of the world. To Mom, you've supported me in my life here and helped me to get through challenging times, and that you could finally end up seeing some of these things for yourself was delightful for me. You're great at bowing too, but you already know that. Jay, I get the feeling you are about to launch any day. Store up on fuel in the meantime, right? Talk to you soon.

And gratitude to those people who asked me(more than once) to keep on blogging. Please enjoy the fourth act. And my love and best to you.

Day 26 -- Rapid Changes

Yesterday, I made a transliteration of the AikiManseido("Aikido for the Whole World") creed, so I can begin to recite it in class. It's something that was composed by the Sunadomari Sensei, the head of AikiManseido and a student of Ueshiba O'Sensei(Aikido's founder). He was Sakabe Sensei's teacher, too, for a long time until Sakabe Sensei started his own dojos. You can see the original Japanese brushed here. I'm not going to try to translate it here because I couldn't do it justice in English. But I will translate the first sentence, and that is " 'Aiki' means 'the manifestation of love.' "

I go to the 53rd anniversary demonstration of Manseido this Sunday, where I hope to see Sunadomari Sensei for the first time. I'm waiting in anticipation of this event. He's something like 81 or 82 years old. I wonder what kind of demonstration it will be...

It is dawning on me how powerful this martial art's potential is to change a person.


Total minutes early: 210

Day 25 -- Sensei and the Island

As I said earlier, I got the chance to go to Yakushima Island last week for three days with Sakabe Sensei and two other people. Yakushima Island is south of here, way down near Okinawa.

The whole island is covered with green, and although it was clear the whole time we were there, it was really apparent how much it must rain to become sheeted over with moss and so full of life. What astonished me the most about the place was the island's seeming ability to regenerate itself, even though a lot of logging had taken up til the mid-1960s. It had that kind of magic about it, pine trees which had grown on old stumps, banyan trees reaching down and forming new roots with their branches, and huge, ancient cedars carrying dozens of forms of different plant life in their branches.


There were plenty of small deer who pretty much ignored us, monkeys, who stared at us, and the colorful fish we could see from the glass-bottom boat. I ate a flying fish(cost about $8). That makes me really feel special somehow (. . *)V . I also ate something called 'kame no te,' or turtle's hand. It's actually a kind of shellfish that really looks like a turtle's paw. It tasted like clam.



There were three really spectacular waterfalls. One was 88 meters high, one was just beautiful, and the last one, pictured here fell directly into the ocean. I hear that's pretty rare for a waterfall.

I did get to go hiking in the Princess Mononoke inspired forest, and although it was quite an enchanted forest, the hike was easier than I'd imagined, so it didn't have much of a feeling of being hidden away.
Even still, I could have spent a lot more time in that forest. For a few moments, Sakabe Sensei and I sat looking at the trees in silence, and he and I were both reluctant to get up when it was time to go. We shared a few moments like this. All in all, I have to say that my experience with Sensei for those three days was different than I would have imagined.
Sensei on the mat astounds me. I become alive watching him; alert beyond thought. I have even felt once or twice that he could have been my father in a different time, because of the way that he kindly takes care of me, but is also strict. This is on the mat.

Off the mat, he's friendly enough, but I was surprised by some quirks that started to come out after a few days of close contact. Well, to start, he wore the same clothes the whole time, a dingy sort of suit, but he kept asking me to take his picture, so I got a lot of pictures of him. His camera was apparently 'maybe working,' same with his video camera. I didn't get that exactly. He took pictures with his camera even though the screen didn't turn on.

What else? He made us pay as a group several times, and when it came to sort out money, we each had accumulated receipts. The totals had to be added, divided, and it was messy. At the end, Sensei brought up that he had lost some of the receipts from his group purchases, so we had to give him an amount based on his estimation. I like to keep watch over my finances these days, so I was a little erked by the mystery of the lost receipts.

Otherwise, the language barrier difficulties were to be expected. It was Sensei, two fellows in their young 30s and me. Sensei nor the other two spoke English, except for the random katakanized word from Katsuki-san when he could think of it. I did my best, but it was a bit rough by the end, when my brain had burst onto the floor from Japanese overload.

It was a good experience, and I had a nice chance to reflect and could get to know Sensei much, much better. We had practice Monday night, and I was right. The nicey-nicey stage seems to be over. I broke a real sweat and joined the gang. And I felt lucky to have such a teacher and that we all have each other.

I wish I could devote more time to making this writing better, but I don't seem to be able to find the time. It's 1:30am now. I was late today, I'm really sorry to report, because I overslept after last night's hard training. I'll be up again and early tomorrow though.

No minutes to add this time. Total: 202