A Self Interview

(note to those who don't know me: I don't have a split personality--both sides are played by me ;-) )

Julie: Hi Julie, what's on your mind tonight?
Julie: Nothing much, looking into my experience again. Wondering what thoughts will come into my mind next. Cleaning out and clearing the mind, you know.

J: What do you mean by 'cleaning out and clearing the mind?'
J: I mean not thinking about other things while I'm doing something. In that way, there are no extra thoughts to divert my attention.

J: Go on...
J: When I practice doing that, less and less thoughts start coming up in the first place. And actually, that means less thoughts come up to distract me in general. All the energy I put into thinking about things, I've found, creates more thoughts on the subject, and clouds the mind with confusion. So clearing is the opposite of that.

J: So how does this 'clearing' happen, I mean how can it be done?
J: Through putting attention not to the thoughts themself, but to their root or source. In other words, why did that thought arise; what caused it to arise?
Clearing the mind happens by reasoning what previous thinking might have fueled the present thinking, rather than responding directly to the content of the thought(or even emotion, I suppose) itself. By itself, it continues to reappear, because its roots haven't been properly understood. If the root of a thought is understood, the train of thought stops and disappears.

J: What does it mean to 'understand' a thought?
J: That's a tricky question. It gets a little philosophical here. Let's assume that there is a certain amount of injury and conflict we have caused our own bodies and our own minds in our lifetime. Those are the trains of thought we can also eliminate in our own lifetime. But what about things that we had no choice in, such as being born with a defect, like being blind or deaf? Where do those individual traits come from? Why was I born a girl and not a boy(or anything else!)? My parents didn't choose either! And they didn't choose my birthday, or the time in human history in which I was born.
I reason that we are set up in our own personal bodies, with our own unique time-revealing challenges simply to clear them up. To let it all play out and become victors over our own struggle. And that way, in the case we have to deal with living in some form or another after we die(after all, I didn't know I was going to be alive this time around), we'll be that much closer to a mind and body (and spirit) without conflict. So understanding a thought means understanding your own situation clearly through self-examination. That's as best as I can describe it to you.

J: Oh, I see! That's why you do Aikido, right?! Because for you Aikido addresses your thinking and response...
J: Yes, that's a big reason why.

J: So it's all connected--your history, your interests, the color of your hair, to your thinking?
J: Well, that's what I'm coming to believe anyway...

J: I'm going to digest this all over a sesame cookie. It's been a pleasure talking with you tonight, Julie.
J: Thanks for having me, Julie. Mind if I join you?

(ha, ha, I crack myself up! But I will have two cookies, just for good measure. hee hee!)