Until this point, the number of Japanese friends I have made who are say, from 25-35, has been limited. When I came here over three years ago, I didn't know anyone, not one soul who lived on the whole island of Kyushu. So my contacts were the people I worked with, and the foreign English teachers, a.k.a, the ALTs(Assistant Language Teachers).
Etsuko came to visit the new ALT in Arao(me) two months after I arrived, and she became my first friend here. Yesterday, we had lunch at a little cafe in OOOmuta. She's nearly the same age as my mother, and as dear as a mother to me.
It was also after two months that Hiro and I met, and began a five-month friendship that would become a wonderful two and a half year relationship.
And then, I stopped making Japanese friends.
This basically means that I had lots of acquaintances(and sadly, so many people who wanted to be friends basically so they could practice their English) but actual friends, who I went out with, enjoyed life with, had over my house to watch videos and laugh with--those seemed to be limited to members of the foreign community.
So I've decided to reverse this, step out from within my private shell to embrace a new network of friends who have been just out of my reach: Japanese my own age.
Here's some recent progress:
The first girl, Maki, went to lengths to meet me. Her sister is a student in one of my classes, and she really wanted to get to know me. So she wrote a letter and had her sister hand-deliver it to me, asking me when we could meet. I phoned her and we had dinner, and it was great. She's a really smart, cute, hip girl and you would probably like her too.
Messiah was next. That's his real name. Met him at a drinking/eating place called an izakaya. He walked in wearing these big Paris Hilton-type sunglasses, followed by an intimidating-looking posse, we hit it off, and next thing you know, he's called to tell me how glad he was to have met a new friend! He's so hilarious too--he works for a natto company, you know, those sticky, smelly fermented soy beans we all love, only he hates natto!
Ike(pronouced 'ee-kay'), is all about fighting arts. I met him in the beginning of September when he came to try out an Aikido class. At the end of class, I felt the fear and walked through it to go up and talk to him. He gave me his card and told me to come out with him and the Aikido teacher on Thursday night. I think he was surprised I actually said okay!! He lives really close to me, so he's been coming over to my house and raiding my fridge!! He and Maki were the first Japanese my own age after Hiro to come over to my house. We watched 'Rocky.' It was Maki's second time. Ike said it was probably his twentieth.
And so, onward from here. I promise to love my new friends and to take care of them and nurture our friendship to the best of my ability. In return, all I want is to be able to call them when I want, to be open whenever they call me, to see them once in a while, and to keep progressing to deeper levels in our friendships. It dawned on me that everybody wants something, and that if I pay close enough attention, I might be able to help them fulfill their needs. I started keeping a little book to keep track of these dreams of my friends, so if I ever have the chance to help them reach them, I will. The book is not limited to the dreams my Japanese friends, though!!!
By the way, I know I just wrote a post saying I couldn't write long posts, and this post is a complete contradiction to that earlier one. I pulled some frozen veggies from the freezer, wrapped them in a cotton bag, and have written this entire post with my laptop cooling off while my legs slowly freeze. Anyway, I can't believe it actually worked.
Have I told you about Joe? Jeez, I gotta tell you about him. (It's Joe-->)
*this means people who I've shared contact info with, feel free to call or make plans with as I like, and who I am open to receiving calls from and supporting in times of need. A 'boatload' means 'less than a shipload, but more that a canoe can hold'
