Intellectually, one step closer to the inside

I've been feeling a real edge with one of the English teachers here, Si Sensei. It seems we just can't communicate very effectively. For example, yesterday he asked if I would prepare something to discuss with the students for the first ten minutes of our class together today. I told him I could think up something or other.

So, I thought up an idea to talk about onomatopoeia and mimesis words, words that sound like the sound or action they are describing. I thought I could write several onomatopoeia on the board and we could try to guess the meanings in Japanese by the sounds of the words. We briefly confirmed my idea in the morning. When I got to class, the teacher started to pass out paper, saying, "Julie will now speak on a topic for about ten minutes. You must write down your understanding of her speech on this paper." I hadn't prepared a speech, and the students didn't know whether to participate or listen, so my activity flopped. I felt badly, but there was nothing I could do at the time.

After class I wrote a speech on my topic so I would be more prepared for the next time, if there is one.
I feel some kind of irritation whenever we have to talk, and it seems as if he feels burdened every time we talk too.

Now, actually, I like Si Sensei, and I know that we can teach together effectively. It was during this train of thought that I picked up a dingy book sitting in a cubby in my desk with all the other dingy books. It's simply called, "Speaking and Living in Japan." I thought it'd be similar to many other books I've read with a similar title, but it wasn't. It tells stories from the point of view of a man living in Japan, learning Japanese. He goes through his daily life, and his mood is affected by the various things he says and the responses he gets throughout his day. It describes why at times, foreigners might feel frustrated with Japanese natives and vice versa. One thing, for example, that it points out, is a frustration I've experienced several times. In Japanese culture, it is considered polite to interject frequently while a speaker is talking to confirm that they are listening. In the place where I come from, it's considered rude. It makes me want to stop talking because I think that the person is placating me and isn't really interested. It's just not that way here, in reality. It's almost unbelievable, how something that feels offensive to me is just my point of view. It's hard to not feel offended by something so ingrained in me!!

Anyway, I think these kinds of misunderstandings are causing my tension with Si Sensei. Unfortunately, neither of us fully understands what the other is considering offensive. It's bewildering. I hope as I read more of this book, I'll begin to understand more of what I can do to keep our misunderstandings and mutual offenses at bay.

Another thing I learned is why I get such a strangely quiet response from the staff when I greet them with "konnichiwa,"(good afternoon) but "ohiou gozaimasu"(good morning) seems to be fine. I learned that "konnichiwa" is usually only used for people outside of your "group," and that it sounds odd to be used when you are on a somewhat familiar basis with someone like a coworker. It's so subtle, but every bit helps me gain some understanding of how to become more accepted here.