the gas station, the holidays and isolation

I never like to admit that I have a cold. I'll go through days of sneezes, boxes of tissues, and bottles of echinacea, denying any kind of condition, until one morning I'll wake up and the whole thing will have passed. Then I'd think "Boy, that some cold I had."

I'm currently in Japan, in denial.

Somehow though, the thought getting gas always seems to cheer me up.
As with the convenience stores, the moment of arrival at the gas station is climactic.

The convenience store:
Pretend for a moment, that you need to buy some drinking water because you discover your own tap to be somewhat disturbingly yellow. You can't take echinacea without water, so you decide to hop in the car(the compact 'Mira Daihatsu'--or whatever the case may be) and roll off towards 7-11 for a little 24-hour service. And service it is.
"!!!! IRASHAIMASE !!!!" "!!!!! WELCOME, PLEASE COME IN !!!!!"
The cashiers' vocal greeting hits you, like cupid's arrow, forcefully, unexpectedly, lovingly. You soak in the rush of it, buy your water, and leave.
[Perhaps I'll play a game someday and visit all the 7-11s in town with a tape recorder, to compare the greetings. I would award the loudest, most cheery one with an autographed photo of me, and a promise never to return to their store(take it easy Julie, drop the gun and move away from the cynicism).]

The gas station:
Simply put: it rocks. At the gas station, if you have a customer card, you are a god. You are a '-sama', a greatly respected one. No doubt, gas stations are one of my favorite parts of Japan.
I always go to the same one, if I can help it. I like the fumes, ...uh, vibes.
Okay, so they are just gas stations, but where else do you get full service, free window-wiping and every single attendant knows your name? And again, what could compare to the excitement upon pulling in:
"!!! HAI, HAI, HAI, HAI, HAI--OK !!! (Translation: I'll direct you as to where to park your car. Keep pulling up, keep coming, okay, stop!)
JULIE-SAMA! JULIE DESU! (Translation: It is the supreme goddess Julie who has come to visit us from the planet of strange-looking people. We love her, and yet are scared of her at the same time. Full service for this card-bearing stranger!)."

I'm becoming addicted to getting gas. Which brings us to the next point: the holidays. Which brings us to the next point: isolation.
It was quite wonderful to go home for the holidays. I am constantly surprised that as I grow, so my family and long lost friends also continue to grow. It's strange how I desire to pull away from everyone and everything I know. I was taught that without a reference point, one can realize enlightment. There is no reference point here, yet I do not realize enlightenment. I realize confusion and imbalance. I realize instability and fear. I realize I have isolated myself/that I am being isolated. Therefore, I like to ease the pain with a trip for gas.

New Year's in Japan:
The trip home was quite short(6 days) because I wanted to be sure to come back in time for Japanese New Year's festivities. I stayed the night with my host family, who had cooked an extraordinary meal containing 673 different fantastic dishes to choose from(I didn't really count ; ) ). Nagao Sensei, my host father, and I spent the hours after dinner drinking special thick rice wine and scotch. We watched famous Japanese people in crazy costumes sing on TV, and at 11:45PM, we rejoined the family for toshi-koshi soba, a kind of noodle dish eaten only on New Year's Eve. Soon after, we realized that it was midnight and headed off to a shinto shrine. It was at this shrine that we rang a huge bell(invoking dieties??), and afterward we went to another shrine to offer a few coins and pray/meditate for a moment. It was, perhaps, the first time I had seen regular Japanese folks acting religious.

And now it's back to being on my own. Back to work at the city hall with no work to do. Back to the drawing board. Back to reaching out, and yet again being casually and cooly rejected. Back to good food and good Aikido. Back to back with myself, with nothing but what I create. How lucky, and how meaningless!

Let's hope this year holds more mercy than the last one ended with--thinking of the tsunami. Also, let's hope this year the US government is able to show some compassion this year. Those are my New Year's wishes. Also, to exercise more. And get more gas.