My Dream Toilet

My home just wouldn't be complete without my own Japanese-style toilet. Set on top of the good old-fashioned squat-hole by my handy landlord when I was moving in, only now, after several months, have I had the bravery to use its all its features.

My toilet has an automatically heated seat, controls to automatically adjust the direction of the water from bidet, a 'bidet' for the other hole with controls, 'massage' settings for the bidet stream, 'big' flush and 'small' flush, and, of course, the standard upside-down handle and built-in mini wash sink.

With all the satisfaction the toilet brings me and my guests, I find myself questioning why certain features were not included. I wondered why my toilet lacked the wonders of such toilets as: the one at the public reststops or the one at the train station.

Here are some of those features included in my 'dream toilet(an * indicates a feature I've found or used in a public restroom):'

a blow dryer for after-bidet use*
an automatically cooled seat for those hot summer months
a 'flushing sound' noise-maker, when mother nature's call is just too embarrasingly loud*
motion-activated flush, a.k.a 'wait, I'm not...'*
automated tp dispenser
toilet paper always folded in a pleasing v-shape*
lady's voice thanking me for using the toilet*(I suppose it would be a man's voice on my dream toilet)

the controls on my current toilet